Love, Health, Family, Poopoo peepee and Gross: TMI, dude

TMI, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 275

You deserved it 243

Love Health Family Poopoo peepee Gross

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Same thing different taste

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 121

You deserved it 5 820

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 1 226

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 446

You deserved it 2 860

If it's brown, let it float around.

By Anonymous - 12/03/2017 07:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 295

You deserved it 352

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 937

You deserved it 13 359

Worst life hack ever

By 1meme129 - 24/02/2016 14:12 - United States - Denver

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 294

You deserved it 1 597

Slob off

By Anonymous - 16/05/2023 12:00

Today, my mother guilted me into going with her to have lunch with my eldest brother. He showed up having obviously not showered, with filthy clothes, and the stench of rotten teeth on his breath. She criticises me for every little thing, but makes excuses for him being a jobless slob for 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 86

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 422

You deserved it 28 091

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 238

You deserved it 2 794

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 954

You deserved it 7 909

RichardPencil 30

Friday 23 November 2018 22:20

At least you don’t need to worry about him stealing her from you... ...unless she’s a certain kind of freak!

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 5 November 2018 4:23

At least he was honest, which is an admirable trait. Shame he was also gross.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 5 November 2018 4:23

At least he was honest, which is an admirable trait. Shame he was also gross.

acmariner99 25

Friday 23 November 2018 22:06

What’s with all the crappy FMLs lately?

Cali 54

Thursday 29 November 2018 2:08

If you want a say in what gets published you can moderate the FMLs!

RichardPencil 30

Friday 23 November 2018 22:20

At least you don’t need to worry about him stealing her from you... ...unless she’s a certain kind of freak!

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 23 November 2018 23:29

What the hell is wrong with your brother?

silentbabydeer 10

Saturday 24 November 2018 0:34

I really hope he didn’t put his hands out right in front of her nose for her to smell how bad he stinks. Yuck!

TumblrweedPasses 11

Saturday 24 November 2018 22:28

Maybe he was just trying to embarrass you by making it look like your family's loopy?? If he ever brings someone home you know what to do

Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14

Monday 26 November 2018 3:18

Your brother must hate you.

Starstone Silvermoon 3

Monday 26 November 2018 6:04

nasty

Slim87R 7

Friday 24 April 2020 12:37

Is your brother 7?

Keywords

Awkward Harassment Coffee Love Anger issues Mental health Weird Family Miscellaneous Sex Confused Cheating My ex Work Facebook Social Media Relatable Babies Parenting Health Nice Guys Creepypasta LGBTQIA+ Religion Painful Food Transportation Intimacy Coworkers Death

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 82

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 900

You deserved it 12 406

The Top

Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 538

You deserved it 15 929

Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early to search for my car keys, so my boyfriend could go get his pipe and get high before work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 752

You deserved it 5 361

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 148

You deserved it 6 916

Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 388

You deserved it 3 861

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 670

You deserved it 5 761

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 583

You deserved it 36 202

Same thing different taste

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