Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We... - FML

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35676

You deserved it

5641

Tweet

Share

Understandable

Social distancing gone wrong

Great guy

By SomeExplainingToDo - 4/9/2017 04:30

Today, I sent a polite yet strongly-worded email to one of my corporate clients in which I expressed my irritation at being asked the same question by the same team for the 4th day in a row. I ended it with "Regards!" but accidentally swapped the 'g' with a 't'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3358

You deserved it

1674

Tweet

Share

By Bobby M - 16/5/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68390

You deserved it

10653

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/2/2014 01:03 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42882

You deserved it

7983

Tweet

Share

By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37923

You deserved it

7003

Tweet

Share

By sufia - 29/9/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15208

You deserved it

1150

Tweet

Share

By petra84 - 22/10/2012 22:34 - United States - Evans

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25996

You deserved it

2242

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 00:01

Halloween has started early

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1479

You deserved it

139

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/8/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to hack my Facebook and "like" everybody's statuses. This includes my boyfriend's about his grandmother dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41217

You deserved it

6119

Tweet

Share

By ihatekids - 14/7/2016 20:43

Today, the favorite activity of the four kids I'm babysitting is running up to me when I least expect it and farting on me. I can't even sit down without them attacking me with their butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12806

You deserved it

1187

Tweet

Share

By Forever Alone x2 - 7/1/2012 19:47 - United States

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36946

You deserved it

4055

Tweet

Share

By Sydney - 15/1/2013 23:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41971

You deserved it

2968

Tweet

Share

By oops - 19/8/2013 16:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41230

You deserved it

7270

Tweet

Share

By OverweightTeen - 14/1/2010 06:59 - Canada

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12932

You deserved it

24818

Tweet

Share

By whathehell - 27/4/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56990

You deserved it

3621

Tweet

Share

By tutusaurus - 28/8/2012 14:16 - United States - Salinas

Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27512

You deserved it

4409

Tweet

Share

By Miko - 1/2/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10226

You deserved it

32346

Tweet

Share

By khlonnae - 21/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Dayton

Today, while hanging out with my boyfriend, I started getting ready for bed. As I grabbed my face wipes, he said, “Wait, don't take off your makeup because then you'll be ugly.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks

4191

You deserved it

543

Tweet

Share

By Turnipseed3 - 3/5/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47342

You deserved it

3019

Tweet

Share

By Nice - 1/5/2012 13:58 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25931

You deserved it

5002

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/2/2016 07:49 - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21219

You deserved it

1577

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2381

You deserved it

900

Tweet

Share

By Kevin - 5/2/2009 18:04 - United States

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10122

You deserved it

46545

Tweet

Share

By Shivvy - 11/2/2011 03:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I came downstairs disappointed thinking that my parents had forgotten my birthday. Turns out they didn't forget, they just couldn't be bothered to do anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33107

You deserved it

3137

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/10/2014 02:13 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37946

You deserved it

3389

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 10:32 - United States - Levelland

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28670

You deserved it

2688

Tweet

Share

By cuckoo - 22/8/2015 03:59 - United States - Mobile

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28079

You deserved it

3986

Tweet

Share

By keyshame - 10/10/2013 05:22 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38233

You deserved it

6447

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/7/2020 20:02

Seize the means of production

Today, my job has a policy where you can only have two breaks if you work 7 hours or more. I've recently been assigned multiple strings of 6 hour 45 minute shifts. And no, I can't work 15 minutes of overtime so I can have the extra break. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1472

You deserved it

159

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12948

You deserved it

17778

Tweet

Share

By thatonesilentkidinclass - 4/5/2013 08:11 - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49595

You deserved it

12098

Tweet

Share

By ChickenBallsPlease - 28/1/2014 11:16 - United Kingdom - King's Lynn

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43476

You deserved it

16537

Tweet

Share

By LemonLearn - 6/10/2016 20:59 - United States - New York

Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14807

You deserved it

1042

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/6/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47910

You deserved it

13906

Tweet

Share

By Dave - 19/12/2018 18:00

Today, I said to a girl that I recently started dating, ‘I like you so far’. My phone had other plans and decide to autocorrect far to fat as I hit send. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

1989

You deserved it

664

Tweet

Share

By person_r - 21/7/2009 12:03 - Norway

Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64474

You deserved it

12555

Tweet

Share

By Lily - 9/10/2018 17:30

Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2051

You deserved it

2355

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/3/2020 02:00

Maoism intensifies

Today, like every evening, our place is literally shaking with banging noises from the apartment below. Are they raising ponies down there? Wrecking the furniture? Taking out some walls? No, it's just my landlord's six-year-old. Playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1410

You deserved it

106

Tweet

Share

By ants9omarching - 10/3/2011 01:48 - United States

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35470

You deserved it

5920

Tweet

Share

By Ljsmitty - 12/9/2009 20:14 - United States

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46204

You deserved it

2878

Tweet

Share

By I'maboutobarf - 31/1/2013 10:28 - Australia

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40124

You deserved it

2767

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By blastvortex | 3

#682225 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:00

And just what did you think she was going to do with your phone? If she wasn't doing something weird with your phone, she would probably just be stealing it. YDI for handing her your phone. It isn't like it's the end of the world either. She's but one fish in a big pond. Try again.

By Veritas143 | 0

#682229 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:05

All I cared about is the first part because it reminded me of Blink-182... Everythings better when she's around, I can't wait 'til her parents go out of town..

COMMENTS

By discosoup | 0

#682174 - Saturday 21 November 2009 20:30

Sux bro.

Reply

hairt | 4

#1369862 - Wednesday 8 September 2010 12:43

:(

Reply

22cute | 17

#3245806 - Tuesday 6 September 2011 9:58

Think back to what you said/ did between when she gave you her number & when she asked for your phone. That's the key here.

Never do that again...

Reply

Starcatch77 | 20

#5573509 - Wednesday 10 July 2013 10:15

I'm just wondering why she even gave him her number in the first place, if she didn't want to she could've just said no.

By WTFsGoingOn | 0

#682201 - Saturday 21 November 2009 20:46

YDI for giving her your phone to begin with. If you exchanged cell numbers she obviously could have just used her own if she needed one. Give your phone NUMBER to hot girls, not your phone. Lesson learned.

By Starfire22 | 5

#682213 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:28

Wow that was smooth, but she shouldn't have given it to you if she didn't want u to have it... Sorry OP, FYL!

By stoobo | 0

#682223 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:52

I feel sorry for you but thats a good one

Reply

Gfrigo | 1

#1374189 - Thursday 9 September 2010 3:25

I'm a huge Blink182 fan. this totally reminds me of their song girl at the rock show.

By blastvortex | 3

#682225 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:00

And just what did you think she was going to do with your phone? If she wasn't doing something weird with your phone, she would probably just be stealing it. YDI for handing her your phone. It isn't like it's the end of the world either. She's but one fish in a big pond. Try again.

By Veritas143 | 0

#682229 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:05

All I cared about is the first part because it reminded me of Blink-182... Everythings better when she's around, I can't wait 'til her parents go out of town..

Reply

calibabe0321 | 6

#4994644 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:46

Omg I thought I was the only one

By lostfaithinpppl | 19

#682235 - Saturday 21 November 2009 22:16

OP, obviously it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Forget about her and move on. She's not worth the time you spent typing this fml.

By Noire_ | 0

#682242 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:15

Lol, ouches.

By fmlloverrct | 0

#682264 - Saturday 21 November 2009 21:54

ohh that sucks

By thegate | 0

#682277 - Saturday 21 November 2009 22:04

you fell in love with the girl at the rock show
she said what and you told her that you didn't know
she's so cool, gonna sneak in through her window

oh, except you can't bc you got owned. HAHA.