Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Go to his house and tell his mom you're pregnant with his child.
happle 21
How did he find where you live..?
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Comments (102)
LynniePooh 6
People these days have nothing better to do with their lives.
teyyoshi 19
My mum told me when i was young, you were born to be a polite boy...
Pelreskovich 11
You got owned.. And your dad is a fool.
Jillaudrey 0
Hahaha lmfao I know a kid who would do that...
twilightluvr101 4
Dont we all...
briannajm 9
... Is it bad that i really wanna do that to someone now ?
Newzealeb 3
You should come by his house with a box full of gay porno's and wait til his mother answers the door, tell her he forgot them at your place .
nedderbutters 6
hahaha this is so funny, but if you've never met him, then how could he have asked for you ?
Jamialia 5
I've heard this FML before on here. I have to search FML Archives.
THE_A_TEEN 27
I bet you're talking about the "Join the West side, represent the hood" one from last year. If not, what a shame.
EduJav321 24
Im suprised your dad didn't beat HIM up
cysanleigh 13
Order a shitload of expensive delivery meals under his name. I'm sure his parents will be more pissed off at him then yours are at you when they have to pay the hefty delivery fee that's in his name !