Intimacy, Sex, Weird and Awkward: That one weird kid

That one weird kid

By shellski - 21/01/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 766

You deserved it 2 329

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Same thing different taste

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 514

You deserved it 7 461

By blue15564 - 26/09/2016 21:52 - United States - Davenport

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 382

You deserved it 1 145

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 980

You deserved it 38 768

By kill me - 30/09/2018 03:00

Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 920

You deserved it 2 417

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 061

You deserved it 3 723

By Anonymous - 18/11/2012 00:41 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 545

You deserved it 2 020

By mydadforgetsme - 04/11/2015 17:26 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 686

You deserved it 1 466

By fuckingdieyouoldhag - 20/05/2014 20:08 - United States

Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 657

You deserved it 9 626

By frogdog563 - 01/09/2019 14:00

Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 360

By phonesmuggler - 18/04/2013 19:30 - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 878

You deserved it 5 814

mpsteve137 15

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:07

Go to his house and tell his mom you're pregnant with his child.

happle 21

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:05

How did he find where you live..?

Comments

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:15

Explain to your dad that every since he was laid off from the butt-plug factory that you're just trying to pitch in a little. If it means servicing guys for an extra $5 here and there it's not his problem, just promise him 50% of the profits.

russianmartini 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:16

You said you never spoke to him, you never said you didn't actually do it. Hah

godlike1 5

Saturday 21 January 2012 23:16

I'm pretty sure everybody that ever had sex talked to their partner at one time or another.

Mini96_fml 16

Sunday 20 October 2013 14:42

stranger things have happened

perdix 29

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:17

You just communicated to him with a series of obscene gestures. You could both be telling the truth, yet you still deserve to be grounded! You really ought to speak to someone before you engage in the old, you know ...

BarDownDaily 12

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:33

How could they both be telling the truth? One says they have talked, the other says they haven't.

doubleea 3

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:39

Read the first sentence.

WCARlover 34

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:32

Who would do something like that? That's just completely whacked!

GoW_Chick 14

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:33

That kid could go door to door, and never lose! Either he would piss someone off, or get a little... well you know. ;)

Marcelb 17

Saturday 21 January 2012 12:09

Yeah, problem is that when he does that there's a good chance one of the dads he's going to talk to is going to kick his ass. But even worse, since he'd be going door to door, not knowing who lives there, when he finally you know... gets some, it might be a very unattractive girl, because mom and dad are glad someone finally showed up to give her some.

IKickPuppiesHard 16

Saturday 21 January 2012 12:37

The main problem with these theory is that he would have to know names of the daughters. If not he could say it to someone with a 4 year old daughter, get his ass beat AND cops called on him.