Thanks for coming in, Mr Belch By ZG1 - 13/02/2021 20:00 Today, I burped and sneezed during a job interview, I don’t think they were impressed by my talents. FML I agree, your life sucks 699 You deserved it 230 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 920 You deserved it 123
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML I agree, your life sucks 31 211 You deserved it 14 429
Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 032 You deserved it 2 403
Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 193 You deserved it 509
Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML I agree, your life sucks 37 918 You deserved it 6 006
Today, the guy I'm seeing told me, "I've always loved you as a person.... but not in any other way." While he was inside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 043 You deserved it 1 083
Your interviewer is probably getting a covid test right now just to be safe.
Next time fart too so you'll have a trifecta.