Intimacy: Terminology

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

agreeclassic 19 577

vote type 1 84 258

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

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Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 2 473

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Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

agreeclassic 197

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Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

agreeclassic 10 492

vote type 1 80 914

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

agreeclassic 77 133

vote type 1 8 585

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

agreeclassic 348

vote type 1 222

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

agreeclassic 38 610

vote type 1 3 125

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

agreeclassic 1 190

vote type 1 262

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

agreeclassic 31 218

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How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

agreeclassic 19 522

vote type 1 37 037

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

agreeclassic 75 009

vote type 1 8 363

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

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lillypadyoo 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 7:43

idiot.

relam 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 8:48

how old r u? lol

munny_fml 7

Wednesday 1 June 2011 13:19

wow how big of an idiot are you?

bigairlovemusic 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 0:20

it could. oh, it could.

MrVictor_fml 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 1:15

post your age along with this.

highfivezombie87 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 1:31

serious? i'm fourteen; i knew that forever. -.-

MyLifeAsAnna 1

Thursday 2 June 2011 1:55

I'm thirteen and a sixteen year old asked me that today. D: How old are youuu?

dancingtoes258 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 7:24

dude, im a 14 yr old girl, and i went to private school and i know what that means...

rookieroo2 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 21:27

wow! I hate to imagine what exactly the heck you did imagine it involve...

Itme22 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 21:42

Fail how old are you

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML

agreeclassic 1 517

vote type 1 314

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

agreeclassic 348

vote type 1 222

Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML

agreeclassic 1 131

vote type 1 119

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing for 5 months over. We got some chicken nuggets, but didn’t eat because he stripped my clothes off and we started having sex. Out of nowhere, he said, "I can’t do this!" and left. He took the chicken nuggets with him. FML

agreeclassic 4 943

vote type 1 509

Today, after I took my mom her favourite wine, a card, and an expensive orchid for her conservatory, and also spent all Saturday afternoon with her and took her out for lunch, what did she post on Facebook? Her disappointment that I didn’t spend Mother’s Day with her on Sunday because I was working. FML

agreeclassic 485

vote type 1 67

Today, I tried to organise my closet by colour-coding my clothes. In the process, I accidentally knocked over a shelf, creating an avalanche of mismatched shoes. I now have a closet that looks like it barely survived an earthquake in Selfridges. FML

agreeclassic 309

vote type 1 251

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