Intimacy: Terminology

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

agreeclassic 19 577

vote type 1 84 258

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 2 473

vote type 1 791

Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

agreeclassic 195

vote type 1 106

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

agreeclassic 10 492

vote type 1 80 914

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

agreeclassic 77 133

vote type 1 8 585

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

agreeclassic 348

vote type 1 222

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

agreeclassic 38 610

vote type 1 3 125

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

agreeclassic 1 190

vote type 1 262

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

agreeclassic 31 218

vote type 1 7 468

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

agreeclassic 19 522

vote type 1 37 037

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

agreeclassic 75 009

vote type 1 8 363

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

Comments

deathkid1 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 22:38

wooooowww!!!! Fail!!!!!!

SITHLORD94 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:13

dude ur stupid

heyitshannahbana_fml 0

Monday 18 July 2011 21:12

i feel ya, bro. my friends needed to explain in extensive detail before I comprehended enough to run away, screaming with disgust...

tweenmimi11 7

Monday 25 July 2011 22:43

lmao its sad to say but i thought it involved food too...

kickboxer1 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 5:26

your stupid.

coreysmith 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:04

Wow someones growing up

COCOPUFF3663 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 18:19

EPIC FAIL

tappm98 22

Sunday 18 September 2011 2:00

im 13 and knew what that meant by the time I was 10

jjjaks 0

Monday 19 September 2011 0:57

Wow. You're American and you never knew that??

KRS_13 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:05

What are you? 10 years old?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, if I’m not at work, I’m spending my time racing back and forth between sheer relief that I’m no longer married to my ex-husband and that I’ve got my freedom and independence back, and bursting into tears because the slightest thing reminds me of him, and I miss the awful twat. FML

agreeclassic 1 034

vote type 1 270

Today, I was bored and horny. I figured, what the hell, and downloaded an adult visual novel. Five hours later, I was heartbroken and couldn't stop crying. FML

agreeclassic 777

vote type 1 381

Today, my husband ate several slices of pizza and one whole ghost pepper. He then threw up all over the living room, hallway, and pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom before going directly to bed. I had to clean it up. FML

agreeclassic 3 996

vote type 1 447

Today, I was running to catch a bus and when I finally got on, the driver closed the door on me. My arm is now entirely purple. FML

agreeclassic 4 591

vote type 1 352

Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML

agreeclassic 85

vote type 1 491

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

agreeclassic 49 597

vote type 1 3 292

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