Intimacy: Terminology

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

agreeclassic 19 577

vote type 1 84 258

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 2 473

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Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

agreeclassic 197

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Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

agreeclassic 10 492

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By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

agreeclassic 77 133

vote type 1 8 585

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

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User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

agreeclassic 38 610

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First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

agreeclassic 1 190

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By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

agreeclassic 31 218

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How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

agreeclassic 19 522

vote type 1 37 037

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

agreeclassic 75 009

vote type 1 8 363

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

Comments

maurice1999 5

Monday 5 November 2012 23:39

Your retarded I'm 12 and I know that

pheonix_flash 7

Monday 19 November 2012 4:35

Dude... Im 14 and i know what that means...

2436 4

Friday 30 November 2012 4:12

no shit Sherlock

Pugs_not_drugs 9

Thursday 24 January 2013 22:16

im 14 and have known what that means since 12, u need to get out more

nicholasj96 9

Thursday 7 March 2013 3:39

Lmaoo come on !

zfchatroulette 24

Monday 1 July 2013 3:25

Ohmygod IDK whether to laugh or just be happy that someone's managed to retain some vestige of their innocence.

awsomegiz 8

Friday 26 July 2013 19:54

Your a fuking retard

bmwmv8 4

Saturday 9 November 2013 0:08

I have no words.

medievalgirl94 3

Sunday 10 November 2013 4:40

Gosh, I'm 19 and went to public school and didn't know what this was...if it weren't for urbandictionary, i don't think I'd ever learn anything.

ravenmee 4

Monday 21 April 2014 5:59

This is what Google is for

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my fiancée is a Marvel fan, and insists her wedding ring be made of Palladium, the stuff that powers Iron Man’s heart. A ring in the style she wants costs almost £1000 and we are not wealthy, the budget for the entire wedding is only £4000, but she insists or she won’t marry me. FML

agreeclassic 1 808

vote type 1 382

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

agreeclassic 32 646

vote type 1 2 708

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

agreeclassic 893

vote type 1 106

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

agreeclassic 113

vote type 1 667

Everybody needs some time alone to sing it out... Just hope no one is recording it!

agreeclassic 288

vote type 1 72

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML

agreeclassic 2 104

vote type 1 141

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