Intimacy: Terminology

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 577

You deserved it 84 258

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 473

You deserved it 791

Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 106

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 492

You deserved it 80 914

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 133

You deserved it 8 585

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 222

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 610

You deserved it 3 125

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 218

You deserved it 7 468

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 522

You deserved it 37 037

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 009

You deserved it 8 363

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

Comments

maurice1999 5

Monday 5 November 2012 23:39

Your retarded I'm 12 and I know that

pheonix_flash 7

Monday 19 November 2012 4:35

Dude... Im 14 and i know what that means...

2436 4

Friday 30 November 2012 4:12

no shit Sherlock

Pugs_not_drugs 9

Thursday 24 January 2013 22:16

im 14 and have known what that means since 12, u need to get out more

nicholasj96 9

Thursday 7 March 2013 3:39

Lmaoo come on !

zfchatroulette 24

Monday 1 July 2013 3:25

Ohmygod IDK whether to laugh or just be happy that someone's managed to retain some vestige of their innocence.

awsomegiz 8

Friday 26 July 2013 19:54

Your a fuking retard

bmwmv8 4

Saturday 9 November 2013 0:08

I have no words.

medievalgirl94 3

Sunday 10 November 2013 4:40

Gosh, I'm 19 and went to public school and didn't know what this was...if it weren't for urbandictionary, i don't think I'd ever learn anything.

ravenmee 4

Monday 21 April 2014 5:59

This is what Google is for

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 056

You deserved it 6 996

Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 134

Today, I'm babysitting three children under the age of seven. They have no discipline, don't listen, scream all the time, won't nap, terrorize my dog, and have peed their pants a collective 5 times today. I am not getting paid for this. Their mother has no plans to come get them any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 707

You deserved it 9 737

Today, I gave my crush my number in a note that said "Read in private." Not only did she read it in front of her friends, she also laughed at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 230

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 729

You deserved it 10 966

Today, a woman I didn’t know swung at me in Walmart. After scuffling, security pulled us apart as we waited for the cops. Why? Apparently I ruined her brother’s life and sent him on a “tragic” spiral after I refused to go to a high school dance with him. I have no idea who she’s talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 114

Same thing different taste

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