Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, my manager said I could go on a break when he came back from his. After 7 hours with him still missing, I started to get dizzy. I ended up passing out and hitting my head on a ladder from lack of food. I woke up in the hospital to a card from my manager saying, "Get Well. Don't Sue." FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML
Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
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Top comments
GregoryStalver_fml 6
Well, you know, some people got sent to prison for giving out laxative- or listerine-laced chocalate cakes to their coworkers. If he actually knowingly gave you tainted food, then, yeah, his ass belongs in front of the judge. It actually is considered a felony.
BoredomKillsinc 0
you should sue him for making you make him make you take a slice to finally get you to eat his poisoned cheesecake
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Comments (127)
yuggi1 11
Your comment + Display picture/name= Disturbing. Sorry but it got to be said.
oldwiseguy 0
If you can prove that you could permanently get rid of your problem. He'd be fired than maybe jail!
deannamarie12 0
Shit, cheesecake is yummy haha :D Sorry it had to turn out so badly, though. :3 Gotta love people lol.
soldier4life_88 0
cheesecake is AWESOME!!! getting sick might just be worth it!!!
EvilDave 13
That is called poisoning and is a felony. You should collect samples, go to the hospital, call the police, file charges, and then sue your manager and your employer.
DakotaCat 4
There was a hammer in the cake!
Bootyjuice23 0
ydi, never eat a mans cheesecake.
willjarreau 0
go puke on his desk
Zacham 5
He didn't poison you. food poisoning takes to take effect. If it happened instantly like that you would have had to visit the hospital.
EvilDave 13
It doesn't have to be food poisoning. If one puts laxatives or ipecac or something else into food, it is not food poisoning, but rather tainting the food with poison, which seems to be the case here.
fengpwns 0
hot
awks 0
well it seems suspicious if her keeps on Pestering you. i would have said I'm allergic or lactose to stop him from bothering me. feel bad for you OP （；￣ェ￣）