Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, my manager said I could go on a break when he came back from his. After 7 hours with him still missing, I started to get dizzy. I ended up passing out and hitting my head on a ladder from lack of food. I woke up in the hospital to a card from my manager saying, "Get Well. Don't Sue." FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML
Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
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Top comments
GregoryStalver_fml 6
Well, you know, some people got sent to prison for giving out laxative- or listerine-laced chocalate cakes to their coworkers. If he actually knowingly gave you tainted food, then, yeah, his ass belongs in front of the judge. It actually is considered a felony.
BoredomKillsinc 0
you should sue him for making you make him make you take a slice to finally get you to eat his poisoned cheesecake
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Comments (127)
2muchshyt 0
Aren't you an insightful one?
alannalove2009 0
yo bad!! you should have gone with your gut feeling! >.<
RedPillSucks 33
His gut's definitely feeling it now.
W4X 0
Why'd you have sex with his wife? You had it coming...
yuggi1 11
Maybe the cheesecake grew bacteria?Maybe it's food poisoning. Soft cheese has bacteria in it, I know that much. :0
truthinlies 1
nicely done can you fit the rest of the pieces together?
karina02 9
#67 I like the way you think! (:
yuggi1 11
Oh rofl! I never claimed to be smart. :P
truthinlies 1
okay I will then it was past the due date and probably had a health inspection that day. not wanting to get shut down he gave the spoiled piece of cheesecake to his employee.
smokeymcpottt 3
Your manager used the force. It wasn't the bad cheesecake.
iSitt 0
maybe he just doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom.
GregoryStalver_fml 6
Well, you know, some people got sent to prison for giving out laxative- or listerine-laced chocalate cakes to their coworkers. If he actually knowingly gave you tainted food, then, yeah, his ass belongs in front of the judge. It actually is considered a felony.
usafacadet2013 4
I guess the Cale was a lie...
usafacadet2013 4
I meant cake! damn auto correct.
truthinlies 1
how is cake wrong in auto correct to begin with
noeryu 1
The cake isn't a lie. I hate when people don't finish the game.
mommy2cassidy 18
That's ok, my phone tries to change cake to came.
jelliott 1
that sux
glitterypink 0
I agree! I couldn't think of a food more disgusting