Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, my manager said I could go on a break when he came back from his. After 7 hours with him still missing, I started to get dizzy. I ended up passing out and hitting my head on a ladder from lack of food. I woke up in the hospital to a card from my manager saying, "Get Well. Don't Sue." FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML
Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
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Top comments
GregoryStalver_fml 6
Well, you know, some people got sent to prison for giving out laxative- or listerine-laced chocalate cakes to their coworkers. If he actually knowingly gave you tainted food, then, yeah, his ass belongs in front of the judge. It actually is considered a felony.
BoredomKillsinc 0
you should sue him for making you make him make you take a slice to finally get you to eat his poisoned cheesecake
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Comments (127)
AmbrosiaFan 19
IF he's unpleasant, and persists on giving you food. Just accept, then THROW IT OUT and say how good it was.
Fruitmonster2 15
It is yucky. People have there opinions.
KB616 11
I hope you've listened to the other comments about this being illegal & turned your manager in. Putting laxatives (or anything else intended to purposely make someone sick) is serious... especially since this person is supposed to be your manager!
Neonnight 0
Cheese cake is goood
thehartwants 4
I had a manager drink of out of peoples drinks. I even had a gallon water I didn't drink much out of and forgot it at work. When I came in the next day, all but a little bit was gone. I couldn't prove it was her. So I was thinking putting the eye drop thing in use. I just think it's nasty to drink from someone's drink.
ritsuka001 13
Don't ever accept food from people that hate you-- it should be common knowledge that they usually only offer because they did something to it
wawa_sxm 15
<p>Rush to the doctor get tested, threaten him with a law suit and get paid, or just get him fired you might get his position</p>