Sex, Underwear and Intimacy: Such a weird move either way

Such a weird move either way

By 1337fade - 07/04/2011 05:19 - Denmark

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 270

You deserved it 9 733

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bleachingmykidsbrains - 01/07/2015 23:38 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 1 729

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 545

You deserved it 6 956

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 946

You deserved it 8 432

It's getting hot in here…

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 337

By notinterested - 13/09/2011 10:11 - United States

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 5 439

By Husband - 13/03/2017 18:00

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 460

You deserved it 903

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 05:52 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 537

You deserved it 53 632

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 1 600

Romantic

By robinhoood - 12/07/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 072

You deserved it 13 547

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 049

You deserved it 59 048

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:03

Yeah that always turns me on. Especially when I haven't showered in a while.

spikey818 9

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:02

that's awesome foreplay

Comments

hoschiadedodi 0

Friday 8 April 2011 1:42

You know that they say, what your partner does to you during foreplay is actually what they want you to do to them?

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Friday 8 April 2011 3:27

How does it smell?

marissabunge23 0

Friday 8 April 2011 4:18

that's hott..

kellie20 0

Friday 8 April 2011 4:25

lmao, it's gross!

SarahSaysRAWR 0

Friday 8 April 2011 4:28

Haha your wife is amazing

paradox45 0

Friday 8 April 2011 6:06

is the underwear clean?

Ren_Baby 0

Friday 8 April 2011 6:17

Eww I bet you have tire marks. Hahaha

cmoliner 0

Friday 8 April 2011 7:01

I almost threw up! :0

DrakeMcEntire 0

Friday 8 April 2011 7:11

what a freak

penelopecruise 2

Friday 8 April 2011 7:51

hahaha this imagery truly made me laugh.

Keywords

Relatable Health Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Kids Customers Gross Work Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Love Relationship advice Social Media Art Students Sleep Animals Noise Birds

The Top

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 906

You deserved it 74 254

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 80

Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 45 414

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 972

You deserved it 39 651

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 781

You deserved it 10 015

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 083

You deserved it 15 423

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 527

You deserved it 9 405