Health: Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell,...

By ouchiee - 07/04/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 136

Health

Taking stock

Grammar police alert

Teacher's pet

By so much for romance - 11/01/2015 03:21 - United States - Queensbury

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 617

You deserved it 4 725

By Anonymous - 09/07/2014 16:54 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 291

You deserved it 3 972

By Anonymous - 12/05/2014 00:14 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 734

You deserved it 7 797

By girlfromnowhere - 23/02/2016 11:06 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my boss asked me to work over the entire weekend. That would be fine if I didn't already work a 60 hour week. He also said the extra hours on the weekend wouldn't be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 660

You deserved it 2 098

By Christina - 05/12/2011 05:41 - Canada

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 739

You deserved it 49 672

By bad poet - 02/12/2013 01:57 - United States - Millerton

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 493

You deserved it 4 613

By goodbye - 09/03/2009 00:45 - Canada

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 056

You deserved it 34 478

By howtobreakup - 11/04/2016 16:39 - United Kingdom - Worthing

Today, my friend asked me for advice on how to break up with her boyfriend. I've never done it before so I googled it, my own boyfriend happened to walk in and now isn't speaking to me. He won't believe me when I say it was "for a friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 575

You deserved it 4 264

Home Improvement

By coius - 29/11/2020 01:03 - United States - Lincoln

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 253

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 075

You deserved it 8 760

By Anonymous - 24/05/2017 02:00

Today, I got better phone reception crossing an inlet on a ferry than I normally do at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 554

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 14:41 - Australia - Edgecliff

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 006

You deserved it 2 879

Bad omens all around

By bubble wrapped girl - 13/05/2021 19:01 - United States - Medford

Today, I got into a accident at the dunes, rolling a Razor buggy. Last weekend, I sleepwalked and microwaved my phone. Last month, I gave myself third degree burns while curling my hair. I need to live in a bubble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 259

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 974

You deserved it 5 845

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 16:11 - United States - Tyrone

Today, my dad asked my brother not to use his shaver so late at night. That wasn't him, and it wasn't his shaver either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 524

You deserved it 3 267

Kids will be kids

By monkey - 19/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Logan

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 050

You deserved it 5 465

By Anonymous - 01/03/2013 07:02 - United States - San Jose

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 937

You deserved it 41 361

By ImilkedYourMom - 03/05/2016 13:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, after a 14-mile bike tour in Chicago, I got rug burn on my inner thighs. Having the hostel room all by myself for the last couple of days, I got naked and let the air conditioner cool me off. I then had to explain to my roommate that walked in on me that I seriously was not jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 308

You deserved it 2 061

By Anonymous - 26/12/2018 06:00 - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 718

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 332

You deserved it 7 375

By hey-o - 23/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 165

You deserved it 10 784

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 13:16 - United States

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 000

You deserved it 9 094

By Anonymous - 03/06/2019 12:07

Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 3 411

By Anonymous - 19/08/2012 05:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 437

You deserved it 4 340

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 510

You deserved it 38 918

By Daddy - 02/06/2016 08:04 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 398

You deserved it 677

By HistoryFreak - 01/02/2013 09:19 - France

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 463

You deserved it 9 731

By Megan - 26/03/2013 19:04 - United States

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 518

You deserved it 4 310

In flagrante delicto

By Matasha - 19/04/2021 23:00

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 96

By lamed - 04/12/2009 22:01 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 112

You deserved it 14 721

It's not permanent

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 02:02

Today, I have really big insecurities, and the ONLY thing I like about myself is my hair. I got it permed yesterday, and just now I used shampoo on it, and my hair is falling out. All 12” of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 302

By happybirthday - 22/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 915

You deserved it 9 438

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 195

Free carer

By Anonymous - 20/11/2020 05:04

Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 215

By nick - 22/03/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 190

You deserved it 13 256

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 01:47 - United States

Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 394

You deserved it 3 690

By maddiee. - 21/10/2010 15:20 - Indonesia

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 210

You deserved it 7 309

By lamesauce - 15/02/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 740

You deserved it 3 039

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 20:06 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 304

You deserved it 16 444

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 09:07 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 676

You deserved it 9 288

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Top comments

Nimmrodel 11

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:04

A trip to the hospital may be beneficial.

Frelling 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:03

33, damn straight. Everyone knows they make rugby balls from pollen.

my_usagi 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:03

that's rough

largefoofighter 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:11

least you haven't been slapped in the chest yet

gutzzzz 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:28

ya, but you should see the other guy. bet he doesn't have allergies though :P

Frelling 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:37

He?

gutzzzz 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:41

he, she, it's all the same. we are all man. right? no? ok, fine then, I'm sexist and saw rugby and assumed male :)

Bano360 25

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:44

So many insensitive people hitting ydi. How is it OP's fault?

Aldebaran_fml 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 13:45

If he does have pollen allergy he shouldn´t be practicing Rugby since he´s exposing himself to polen, he doen´t deserved his sternum sprain, but he does deserve the allergic part since he exposed himself to his allergen.

Frelling 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:03

33, damn straight. Everyone knows they make rugby balls from pollen.

insanesna1l 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:28

I thought NRL balls were made from frozen dinosaur testicles?

KELSEYJOHNSON23 5

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:50

sternum is a bone and you can't sprain bones? sprains are in the muscle.. how much of this is true because a doctor wouldn't tell you that

2010smhill2010 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:50

no no no...its made from a portion of a dinosaur penis..

Frelling 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:52

Dino bell end?

jess2gd4u 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:55

this why girls don't play rugby!!! lol jokes!!! go broncos or wallabies !!

blackbird31 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 14:58

So you sprained a bone? Playing rugby whilst also being female? In America? I'm calling BS on this. None of those things can ever happen.

jes1610 6

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Thursday 7 April 2011 15:33

56 I play rugby and I'm a female in America. she probably BRUISED her sternum not sprained it that's stupid. I sprained my wrist recently at a match and it hurts like hell. injuries in game suck

marinus_fml 19

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Thursday 7 April 2011 17:09

Fucking rep that shit up! Springboks for life :D yeah women do play! I watched some games.

HeartnSoul 3

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Thursday 7 April 2011 17:21

YDI for playing rugby

Nimmrodel 11

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:04

A trip to the hospital may be beneficial.

Nimmrodel 11

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Thursday 7 April 2011 15:25

Pain medication

aquariusangel420 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 18:09

Yah allergy meds like zertec you should take IMMEDITALY and maybe you should drink that eases the pain BUT DONT take it with the meds!!!

SuckerPunchurMom 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:05

Not much to say. Fu*k your life.

Jimboom 11

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:06

Stop breathing... Problem sorted. ;-)

trick619 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 16:58

true that. op needs to stay away from flowers and the garden ha

smileeee_fml 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:08

nothing but fyl. get well soon (:

Javgirl 4

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Thursday 7 April 2011 15:46

That's what he gets

seraphxchild 3

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:26

my friends dad broke two ribs when he sneezed so it could be worse :D

Monkyman2006 1

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:53

how is this at all relevant to the subject at hand? I would also be willing to bet that a sprained sternum is a bit worse than 2 broken ribs. FYL and get well soon, OP.

starreidy 4

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Thursday 7 April 2011 13:11

that was a powerful sneeze huh?..

abceasyas123abc 12

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:27

Probably time to hit up the Claratyne/Zyrtec/something else along these lines, OP.

SuckerPunchurMom 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:31

Perhaps some meth?

allmidnighteyes 10

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Thursday 7 April 2011 12:52

Meth? Because inhaling fumes that will irritate your lungs and likely make you cough even more is a great idea for the OP. Every other time though, I'd be on-board with the meth thing.