Sex, Underwear and Intimacy: Such a weird move either way - FML

Such a weird move either way

By 1337fade - 07/04/2011 05:19 - Denmark

Spicy

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 270

You deserved it 9 733

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By bleachingmykidsbrains - 01/07/2015 23:38 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 1 729

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Spicy

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 545

You deserved it 6 956

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Spicy

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 946

You deserved it 8 432

It's getting hot in here…

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 337

By notinterested - 13/09/2011 10:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 5 439

By Husband - 13/03/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 460

You deserved it 903

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 05:52 - United States - Sacramento

Spicy

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 537

You deserved it 53 632

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 1 600

Romantic

By robinhoood - 12/07/2009 05:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 072

You deserved it 13 547

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 049

You deserved it 59 048

Next

Top comments

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:03

Yeah that always turns me on. Especially when I haven't showered in a while.

spikey818 9

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:02

that's awesome foreplay

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:55

Did you end up with a skidmark mustache?

SwaggerMelon 6

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:11

Be grateful your getting anything at all... you sound like a doogan muncher to me

Easyaccess 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:13

that's how u get pink eye....lol

wtftoria 1

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:22

Yea... she definitely did that on purpose because she has to deal with your smelly underwear.

ImaWiseGuy 5

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:36

wrong idea, but I like where your heads at.....

krissn 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:47

now that's love lol

mskaybee 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:48

Well maybe it was her way of showing you what she has to deal with when you want her to go down on you. Wash your smelly ass and you might get more action.

brycereid 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:51

79 I'm sure you've tasted worse then that so it's not the foulest thing on earth.

lmaoatall 6

Thursday 7 April 2011 16:43

maybe she thought s and m stood for shitty and messy!

redtigerlily 5

Thursday 7 April 2011 17:31

I bet you did it to her on some occasions. Don't know why some guys think its hot to do that.

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The Top

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 364

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 6 962

The Top

Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 843

You deserved it 6 614

Today, I received my fourth rejection email from McDonald's after applying for one position with them a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 081

You deserved it 314

Today, I realized my family is more excited to see my girlfriend than they are to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 646

You deserved it 4 269

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me while I'm deployed overseas. Her reason why is that she needs "to be alone to better herself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 95

Today, several of my apartment complex neighbors walked right by me as I struggled to clean the inches thick, icy snow off of my SUV. I’m 4’11. Not one person offered to assist me, even after I slipped and fell several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 2 276

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 4 444