Sex, Underwear and Intimacy: Such a weird move either way - FML

Such a weird move either way

By 1337fade - 07/04/2011 05:19 - Denmark

Spicy

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 270

You deserved it 9 733

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Same thing different taste

By bleachingmykidsbrains - 01/07/2015 23:38 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 1 729

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Spicy

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 545

You deserved it 6 956

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Spicy

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 946

You deserved it 8 432

It's getting hot in here…

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 337

By notinterested - 13/09/2011 10:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 5 439

By Husband - 13/03/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 460

You deserved it 903

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 05:52 - United States - Sacramento

Spicy

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 537

You deserved it 53 632

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 1 600

Romantic

By robinhoood - 12/07/2009 05:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 072

You deserved it 13 547

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 049

You deserved it 59 048

Next

Top comments

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:03

Yeah that always turns me on. Especially when I haven't showered in a while.

spikey818 9

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:02

that's awesome foreplay

Comments

sgtrobswifey 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:59

What a shitty time to point put your horrible hygiene. Then again, I'd have pointed it out too. Especially if you're constantly asking for some backdoor action.. hell even front door! Dirty bitch!

kaykay9080 5

Thursday 7 April 2011 13:12

thats gross i say divroce her.

mismonroe 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:17

You're obviously not married.

lmaoatall 6

Thursday 7 April 2011 17:38

a couple that plays togethor, stays togethor. and we wonder why divorice rates are on the rise.

fuwop 0

Friday 8 April 2011 0:46

if you will get divorced over something as stupid as that, then you are either 1.) not in love 2.) don't deserve to ever marry or reproduce with any living thing!

CitrusGirl 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 13:30

Wife stiill has to touch them to put them in the washing machine. And a lot of men leave their underwear in their pants which means she has to touch them a lot.

capt_awesome1 11

Thursday 7 April 2011 13:34

that's hot... do the same to her. (:

soketgo 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 13:35

maybe e shit his pants

cptmorgan15 2

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:06

And you married this woman because.......?

mismonroe 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:14

Be grateful you get any foreplay.

LoginUnknown 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:45

He's a guy so probably doesn't care about that. Jumping straight to the pumping would be fine for most guys.

missjet 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:29

thats just so nasty!!!

kamia_kotai 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:45

LOL

knockoutmouse 8

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:51

The emphasis on "MY" makes me think that OP has done this to his wife before with either his or her own underwear, in which case YDI.

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The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 017

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 514

You deserved it 3 569

Today, my boyfriend invited me over, so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom handed me a box. When I got home, I opened it. His mom had baked me a break-up cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 449

You deserved it 3 812

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 769

You deserved it 10 916

Today, after starting a new job, having two ovarian cysts rupture and been in and out of the hospital twice in a week, I'd been told that I couldn't work, needed surgery, and could lose my ovary. I’m 23. I was told that my job was secure and not to worry. I received my termination letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 132

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 764

You deserved it 13 787

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 251

You deserved it 8 431