Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML
Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML
Today, my ex started our conversation with, "How are you?" I asked whether this was just a way of greeting me, or if he genuinely wanted to know. He affirmed that he really wanted to know, then proceeded to talk about his work for the next two hours. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
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Top comments
brookenicolee29 27
Someone has seen a little too much ****.
Fern_Gully 20
That old dog wanted you to teach him some new tricks... O.o
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Comments (37)
Etweens96 25
Bad grandpa.
TheBelt 19
All I'm thinking of is the movie bad grand now.
Krwman 8
No fool like an old fool. I know. I'm old
Bernadetta 12
Well, his life motto may be something like : Age is only a number
Brandi_Faith 34
Or maybe: if a woman is nice to me she must want in my pants. Lol.
Eloxia 7
Best advice is when anyone asks how your day is, and they aren't family or friends or significant others, just say "fine." It's human nature to want to vent. But the reality is if a stranger is asking they are either being polite and don't really care, or they are being creepy. This protects you from both.
darthhera 11
They have people you can pay to talk about your life. They're called therapists.
randomcritic 14
Was the store a quickie mart?
Ericisme 9
so.....how did you end up doing it?
Tsula1994 13
Yeah this happened to me at the library, but he tried to have me get in his car. Scary as hell.
pinque 19
Perve
mishwarner 14
While it is social etiquette to ask about someone's day, it is also etiquette not to dump your problems on strangers. The correct answer is fine or good. 'How are you' is a phrase used by strangers to pretty much acknowledge your presence. Save your issues for friends, family & therapists.