Miscellaneous: Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna... - FML

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

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Same thing different taste

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 8 190

By terrified - 18/01/2012 19:02 - United States

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 839

You deserved it 5 204

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 330

You deserved it 4 541

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 3 005

I just want to go home

By Username - 23/11/2010 20:53

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 484

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 498

You deserved it 6 862

Stalker vibes

By liz - 21/05/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 115

You deserved it 52 464

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 645

You deserved it 5 547

By Nicole - 20/02/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 546

You deserved it 3 302

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 3 798

Next

Top comments

leafeon523 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

If that's the line he's going with, it's probably never been used. Truly a vintage antique!

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

That pickup line is probably as old as he is.

Comments

gintwinsmoore 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

okay...so what did you say?

laurenswims13 24

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:32

Look at the name of who posted it #1

tantanpanda 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:47

OP only likes modern things :)

gintwinsmoore 20

Wednesday 1 April 2015 5:26

yes thanks guys...I keep forgetting to look at the names that are posted on these FMLs. didn't realize there are so many rules to making comments here!

leafeon523 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

If that's the line he's going with, it's probably never been used. Truly a vintage antique!

pimpmilk69 18

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

I think it's his dick...

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:22

You don't say...

CurlyQute 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 4:47

Well no shit.

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:00

No, it's antique wormwood.

Welshite 39

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

"It has that unique patina that indicates true age and quality."

Ichiya 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:14

American Peckers*

CJB3228 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 4:55

Or pawn stars. **** stars?

jat_fml 3

Tuesday 31 March 2015 15:14

awwe now im gonna try that very same lines here ahahahahaaa

Khaleesi_26 30

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

Well, did you?!?

hacksaw246 24

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:25

Don't you think that comment is sort of antiqued by now?

noelsom7 13

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

Was he creepy or one of those cute old men?

Khaleesi_26 30

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:21

I think it's safe to say he was a creepy one. Lol

Wsparta 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

could have tried telling him you aren't interested in checking out old junk

funsizedliz 16

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:45

Haven't you heard it's worth more?

ironmany_fml 23

Tuesday 31 March 2015 21:23

i dont think he'd let OP sell it. lol

EatUrGreens 20

Sunday 3 May 2015 2:03

"Nah, I'm into modern art, sorry" :')

lucyisbae 18

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

@3 Nice job, you're very perceptive.

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 3:18

There is a reply button for a reason, mate.

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

That pickup line is probably as old as he is.

beaglegal 42

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

Ask him if he wants a knuckle sandwich?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

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