Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML
Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML
Today, my ex started our conversation with, "How are you?" I asked whether this was just a way of greeting me, or if he genuinely wanted to know. He affirmed that he really wanted to know, then proceeded to talk about his work for the next two hours. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
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Top comments
brookenicolee29 27
Someone has seen a little too much ****.
Fern_Gully 20
That old dog wanted you to teach him some new tricks... O.o
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Comments (37)
samlovesham1234 9
And this is another reason why I'm uncomfortable whenever male seniors talk to me. I never know if they're trying to flirt with me, someone who could easily be their granddaughter. >.
JKPwnage 27
PSA: This man does NOT represent all men
doglady 16
Is this typical In Montana?
dannnngthatsux 19
And? Old men need love too!!!
DrHothead 15
Can't blame him, he "listened" to you
Hardizzle9 11
Old man still thought he had game
wrenavery90 12
I'm so confused. Why would he think that?