Love, Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Steamy

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 3 399

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Same thing different taste

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 534

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 472

Bummed out

By Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 800

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 237

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 288

By hopeless-.- - 29/08/2011 15:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 212

You deserved it 7 501

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 074

You deserved it 1 157

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 7 285

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 146

Fetish

By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 577

You deserved it 293

Jackey 29

Monday 20 May 2019 7:17

Props to the bf for going with "no means no."

bloopaloop 27

Monday 20 May 2019 6:48

You’re really bad at foreplay.

Comments

bloopaloop 27

Monday 20 May 2019 6:48

You’re really bad at foreplay.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 May 2019 6:53

And the stars have lined up for a blumpkin.

Jackey 29

Monday 20 May 2019 7:17

Props to the bf for going with "no means no."

BostonObsessed 10

Wednesday 22 May 2019 23:08

Agreed. At least he understands consent since she doesn’t seem to.

ojosRojos 28

Monday 20 May 2019 9:19

I don’t think you know what the word “sexy” means.

rebelwithmouseyhair 18

Monday 20 May 2019 9:35

can't exactly blame guys for not understanding about consent when women do this.

thisisbutaname 38

Monday 20 May 2019 12:07

TBH, pushing my hands away would be a pretty clear sign to stop and ask if you want to stop.

kenken5 16

Monday 20 May 2019 19:22

It can be fun foreplay if done right. Like to tell your boyfriend “no touching” while you kiss and touch him and knocking his hands away if he tries. The most important thing is to preface that it’s a game

bobsanction 18

Monday 20 May 2019 16:55

So.... you're upset he didn't force himself on you?

Xatraris 38

Monday 20 May 2019 18:20

No means no. I've expressed to my current gf how many times I've been pushed away by ex girlfriends in the same manner will make me stop completely. So stop pushing him away if you really want him or you will push him away for good.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 21 May 2019 18:19

Dear ladies, please leave this nonsense to those wussy sub bastards. If you want sex, stop messing around, or we'll get fed up, and walk away. It's an instant mood killer, and if we think we're not getting any, we're gonna go vent our frustration on our video games.