Miscellaneous: Stained

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 401

You deserved it 54 541

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Same thing different taste

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 900

You deserved it 5 800

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 150

By Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 745

You deserved it 4 621

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 490

By Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 425

You deserved it 12 606

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 723

You deserved it 13 564

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 500

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 758

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 879

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 50 507

mrhahn530 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:14

You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?

housemd1120 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch

Comments

GrapefruitZoe 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:45

2, itch IS a verb. It's just intransitive. For example: "My leg itches." Leg is the subject, and there is no object. However, "I itched my leg" is not correct because leg is the object.

MrJentipede 2

Monday 27 April 2009 22:57

I concur, people misplacing "scratch" with "itch" bothers me to no end.

iamSTEVE 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:07

Dry your hands next time, noob.

joecoyote 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:11

I bet anyone who said YDI is a female. Or at least they never had one of those burning sensations in their crotch region

finalyearsofhate 22

Sunday 17 April 2011 15:16

um..ok, but op is a female too. so your point is...?

ecilart 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:23

definitely not a FML, it's just water and it dries off of clothing. big woop.

SpliffyMcBlunt 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:23

First of all the person who posted this is a girl for any of you who don't realize. Second of all to the girl who posted this, please stop masturbating in public washrooms as you might get crabs, unless you call me first and i could help you out. last of all this is not an FML for you, it is an FEWWTTRTPL (**** everyone who wasted their time reading this post's life)

I_am_stupid_also 6

Monday 27 April 2009 23:27

Today, I was walking around the shopping center with my crotch dripping wet and everyone was laughing at me because I used an intransitive verb with an object. FML.

sciencenerd 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:34

That's why you pull down your pants, scratch, then re-wash your hands. Problem solved. :P

Demonchild 0

Monday 27 April 2009 23:37

Bro u godda do what ya gotta do. If you gotta scratch da sax then u gotta scratchem every man should know that. We scratch before we think its instinct. Be prouda that mark it shows the chix that u gottam.