Miscellaneous: Stained

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 54 578

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Same thing different taste

Read the room

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 924

You deserved it 5 822

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 168

By Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 762

You deserved it 4 631

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 549

Stop staring

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 21:00 - China - Suzhou

Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 124

Handy

By Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 449

You deserved it 12 624

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 739

You deserved it 13 583

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 793

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 534

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 442

You deserved it 50 557

mrhahn530 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:14

You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?

housemd1120 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch

Comments

meddude 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 3:14

it's a fashion statement: "grabbing my junk" by Kevin Federline.

Thrashmeister 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 4:15

What the hell? Seriously? Who uses their entire hand to scratch anything? The most I ever use is two fingernails. That shouldn't leave, if any, a big wet mark. Fake.

nomnomer 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 4:56

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/itch #7/fatfaceunited: Itch is a verb. It means to have an itch, not to alleviate said irritation. You, sir, fail. Informal or not, it is incorrect to "itch" something. Use a real dictionary next time; it's only on the Ask.com one because people **** up and don't know grammar.

Ottawa_Sucks 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 5:51

@7 It says informal beside the definition. That means that it's wrong but people still use it and will eventually dumb the language down to the point where it's acceptable. Seriously though, learn some ******* manners. Regardless of how right you think you are everyone will (rightly) think you're a complete asshole when you freak out and insult someone repeatedly over something completely unimportant that you aren't even right about.

Sessee 4

Tuesday 28 April 2009 6:39

At least you washed your hands (:

fatfaceunited 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 7:09

#58 informal doesn't mean wrong, it means informal. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (because apparently Dictionary.com isn't good enough) informal means "characteristic of or appropriate to ordinary, casual, or familiar use" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/informal). It says right there that it is appropriate for ORDINARY use. We are all regular, ordinary people here, so why can't we use ordinary speech? You are absolutely right it doesn't really matter, and that's why I bitched out #2, because he/she was being a sorry ass grammar Nazi when it really doesn't matter. We all understood what the OP meant, so why do we have to make fun of them for their casual and ordinary language?

kpaq 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 7:12

thank you for washing. itch can be a verb "my ear itches", but not an action verb. you scratch an itch, you don't itch a scratch.

mjw37 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 7:39

Why'd you leave a hand print? You use your entire hand to scratch yourself? Odd. Good job on washing your hands. You should probably go to the doctor. You went to a public restroom, then suddenly had an itch. Hmmm, that could mean something. Bahaha. :]