Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, I found out my 15 year-old daughter is sexually active. I found out by finding her in our bedroom with a boy from her class, using one of our condoms. Her dad hasn’t spoken or moved from the kitchen table in over 30 minutes. I think he’s so mad his brain glitched and got stuck. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
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Top comments
MsConfusedd 27
You should replace the playlist with a voice recording of you reading erotica
killinpoptarts 9
Make sure to have a separate voice for each character
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Comments (86)
mario2012 18
Was her playlist nothing but Justin Beiber songs?
worldclassrager 39
I would play around with the playlist and see what happens next time...
Dodge4x4Ram 46
the fear every dad had to face,, can't be a princess forever
Merylwen 24
Wow, get your prorities straight. You're supposed to try to be a good parent, remember?
skipper2009 18
Damn kids and their rap music!
Nastorrian 11
And the parent of the year award goes too...
fuggotmuggot 14
What makes you think that just cuz she listens to those music, she's sexually active?
awesomeamandas 37
Because the playlist was titled "sex songs"
fou_de_trottoir_fml 1
Gee people, prude much?! If the kid is sexually active but in a responsible manner what is the problem? As long as she's being careful, cared for and also respected it's her life for crying out loud! Stop making sex such a taboo, no wonder why teenagers get pregnant so often with people like yourselves! Banning the topic of sex doesn't make the problem go away. Sit your kids down and give them a proper talk, tell your daughters to use condoms and birth control and tell your sons to be responsible as well, condoms always! It's awkward but it works wonderfully!
Raesin 21
Because teens having sex is usually with random partners, rather than in a loving stable relationship. Lets face it, when teenagers say they're in a relationship, it just means that person is a regular sex partner, not that they actually love each other or want a lasting future. It's merely ''Your bit fits in my bit.'' I have seen that attitude so many times, you need to teach your kids about this stuff from a young age, not just a quick chat when they're already 16.
squideth 18
#47 ooh we got a teenager expert here! Except everything you said is bullshit. Congrats on making yourself feel superior though.
limabeans101029 20
47- That is definitely not always the case. I'm 17 and sexually active, and I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. He's the only person I've slept with, and we don't do it because "his bits fit my bits". It's a loving relationship, and I would genuinely like to have a future with him. Stop trying to be superior simply because you were born earlier.
syed121417 22
See, now we don't know if she is doing it in a responsible matter or not. She Miya very well be unprotected or not, we don't know. And perhaps the daughter told her she wasn't having sex or something. And I think we all just need to sit down. Different people have different views on the topic of sex before marriage and that doesn't make them close minded or anything. Personally, as a non virgin myself, I think it's better to wait at least until you are older, if not after marriage. I wish I had because a lot of the time sex becomes the only reason to stay together if real love is not there, which a lot of the time it isn't. I'm not saying that teenagers can't fall in love, it happens a lot, I know. Also, I'm not against pre marriage sex, but I do see with friends and experience that it's better to wait.
evanobrien 14
was "My Humps" on it?
TheAngryBadger 6
Relax, OP. Listening to terrible music is what kids do. 99% of music aimed at teens (which I'm assuming your daughter is) is garbage. She'll grow out of it eventually. When I was a kid the stuff I liked was utter crap. But then, I grew up in the 80's, so...