Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, I found out my 15 year-old daughter is sexually active. I found out by finding her in our bedroom with a boy from her class, using one of our condoms. Her dad hasn’t spoken or moved from the kitchen table in over 30 minutes. I think he’s so mad his brain glitched and got stuck. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
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Top comments
MsConfusedd 27
You should replace the playlist with a voice recording of you reading erotica
killinpoptarts 9
Make sure to have a separate voice for each character
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Comments (86)
Musiclove4848 6
Haha 69 comments! ...oh wait now I ruined the perfectness....
B0n351337loser 7
As for tghe poor taste in musice replace it with a cd with The Bad Touch - bloodhound gang, Closer - Nine Inch Nails, Rob Zombie's American Made Music To Strip By (pro album), Kuss Mich and Stripped by Rammstein
LaUruguaya 11
Wow you are a shitty parent
kalbrek009 20
Think maybe (if she's under 18) you should be disappointed at the fact that she's having sex & YOU should be preventing it?
icepick23 12
I agree with the OP. It's funny how people in America start having sex in their teens and then, once they are older, try to pretend that teenagers do not have sex. Make sure is educated and responsible and you're doing just fine as a parent.
SilverJane 5
You should be more upset that she's sexually active, nevermind her taste in music
cyndustry 3
You are correct to do that :)
carzaki27 12
OP, can you please do a follow up telling us some of the songs on the playlist?
Cemetery87 10
it seems instead of the 'sex talk' you need to sit her down and tell her about 'Pink Floyd' and 'The Doors'.
AwkPenguin21 4
Just because she has a sex playlist, doesn't necessarily mean that she has sex. It just could be theme/genre or even masturbation music. Either talk to her, give the sex talk, or don't assume shit.