Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, I found out my 15 year-old daughter is sexually active. I found out by finding her in our bedroom with a boy from her class, using one of our condoms. Her dad hasn’t spoken or moved from the kitchen table in over 30 minutes. I think he’s so mad his brain glitched and got stuck. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
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Top comments
MsConfusedd 27
You should replace the playlist with a voice recording of you reading erotica
killinpoptarts 9
Make sure to have a separate voice for each character
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Comments (86)
middlenamefrank 8
My guess? She probably has very poor taste in sex partners, too. Maybe THAT'S what you should be concerned about, dad.
Cagara_fml 10
why were u looking at her ipod, and why is her choice of music your concern??
UnicornFarts 15
Nowhere does it say ipod. He could have found a file on the family computer.
JazNim17 18
I really hope OP's daughter wasn't stupid enough to put a sex songs playlist on a family computer where it was easy for her dad to find.
Nastorrian 11
You and this mom OP would be perfect for each other, both clueless and ignorant.
syed121417 22
Maybe OP's daughter has a computer or laptop she left on the playlist in her room?
ExiledRemixx 13
That's the parents daughter. Are you stupid? Not to mention music these days suck. So once again your stupid.
xerbrus 14
Age is a big factor in this one but whether she's 15 or 19 you're a different need as a father to not want to go slaughter whoever she has been sexually active with
AngelOf_Darkness 28
I know right?! Most fathers would go crazy and immediately go Hulk mode and try to kill the poor guy; I know mine did :P This is a good chance for OP to have a talk with his daughter, and I mean a "Real Talk", not him going off on her for having sex before marriage. He should take this as an opportunity for him to connect with his daughter and let her know about what's right and wrong; what she should do and shouldn't do. I'm saying this from experience. I wish my parents did this instead of biting my head off. Best of luck to the OP and his daughter! ^_^
cocacola999 27
Now, now, be an optimist, OP. Maybe she has a decent taste in music, but the idiots she sleeps with prefer to listen to crap?
tr_guy79 7
Or maybe she's not sexually active, and that is her music for alone time with herself???
laden_swallow09 34
Why would her playlist be "sex songs" then?
subwaysurfers 13
Because the playlist contains songs about sex maybe?
syed121417 22
Variety of reasons. She could've mis typed and meant sexy songs or maybe she just enjoys more initiate music. She could hit be having sex but masturbating, as well which isn't bad at all, in my opinion
masroujh 4
Replace all tracks after the first song with screamo. Let the games begin...
xerbrus 14
metal is actually a preferred method for me if i use music at all
dachayke 16
No, replace it all with tobuscus songs. That shit's annoying.
SMHsohard 22
No sex music list is complete without Barry White.
LumpLegacy 15
Make a new playlist. Good music to listen to while your grounded. ;p
Clarice1 9
LOL that's awesome.
AlexRen 21
#26 the grounded music should only contain 1 track, and the track is just radio static. Lmao
frizz101 22
Well OP, bad music aside, I hope your daughter isn't 12 or 13, or else you need to have a serious talk with her.
minna97 14
Having premature sex? No problem. Bad music choice? Hold da **** up.