Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
RichardPencil 32
This is why I get them to talk after I cum but before I kiss them.
ProperPengTing 15
Shouldve had a ring
Fucc_Logic_4evah 13
Yes, because when women do it to men, it's funny, why are you such a pussy, be more hygienic, etc. But if a man somehow did it to a woman, dear god! ASK FOR HER CONSENT! ******* hell, stop being such hypocritically pieces of shit.
manb91uk 22
Are you seriously going to tell me you didn't see that coming??
maikeru1979 23
You got snowballed dude hahaha.
bobsanction 18
You got snowballed brah.
blahblabbity 19
you almost threw up, yet you still were okay cumming in HER mouth? that’s kinda rude my dude. just be glad she willingly sucked you off.
ohsnapword 21
Ah, the classic snowball. Maybe up the ante and give her the ol' Philadelphia Fakeout.
Lucky O'Guin 18
So you're with an immature woman who thinks this is funny...did you have no clue as to her level of immaturity?
patate_fml 6
I never understood guys who freak out about their own semen …