Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
youtwoha 12
i believe they call that a snow ball. :(
Jader1225 0
This girl is an a+ asshole. Clearly just disrespectful all around. I see a lot of comments about consent and prior discussion on here but truthfully I think both points are irrelevant because she clearly just did it to be a bitch and would have even if he had said no prior.
emilytheperson 17
Oh god, why?
Matildalou 3
Moo moo ?
Moniquey73 13
if you won't swallow why do we?
lilfox67 13
Deserve it cuz of "man milk" ?
snsindnxi 8
Yeah it gross. So why are girls expected to swallow if guys can't handle the taste of their own junk? How many times have guys fingered girls and expected them to suck their fingers off? A bunch. But you can't handle the taste of your own cum? Then I don't suppose you need anymore ********.
THE_GLOW_CLOUD 9
This seems blown out of context. He never said he expected her to swallow–"she surprised me by deciding to swallow." Don't just assume he expected her to.
jmtucker 6
That's why you don't kiss your girlfriend after a *******.
SMALL_SWOLE772 4
I'd ******* kill her
meowsiph1203 3
that's so nasty XD