Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
storm74 9
"man-milk"? really?
kevinsagirl2323 8
geez you deserve it just for calling it your man milk
Bubbilility 27
That was rude, guess she doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell winning back your trust.
planetmars111 3
you know what they say, spitters are quitters
windscar1212 10
should have swallowed it. would have shown dominance
Clone1853 2
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. As long as she doesn't do it again without talking to you than she's taught you a lesson you needed to learn. You have been baptized and will appreciatewhat she is doing for you when she lets you finish in her mouth.
KingAdrock 16
"Today my boyfriend came up to kiss me but instead spat in my mouth, and almost pissed himself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up." Something tells me nobody would be defending the guy in this situation. So why is OP's story different?
sharond23 10
ydi for calling it man milk. ewwww