Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
bunnyboo7799 19
My boyfriend tells me all the time that its sexier if I swallow. I don't really have a problem with it sometimes but every time he fingers me or after he eats me out, he always kisses me or makes out with me or sometimes puts his fingers in my mouth and I've told him would you like it if I kissed you after I gave you a ******** and he freaked out telling me how that's gross and shit. But he still makes me do it
Sweetjessierose 8
Exactly this!! Why make us do something they're not willing to do themselves? I had a guy who tried to go a2m once, and I told him I'd bite his dick off if he put it in my mouth. He didn't try it again ;)
Sweetjessierose 8
HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA SNOWBALLED!!!
Idahome 6
Sounds like a variant on Dutch ****. gross.
ejs9576349 16
"Man-milk"
TheVurcle 10
I think I like this girl, lol sorry.
cainchild 4
i think that shows some bad boundaries and lack of discussion all around. as for some of these comments, she consented to have it in her mouth, he didnt. imagine a guy spitting his own **** into a girls mouth wo her consent..
matty23 8
I hear eating pineapple makes it taste sweeter.... ya know, for next time!
charlieoogx 7
This is the best YDI yet.
uchihadesendent 14
He deserves nothing but a fml because she did this of her own free will and then she spit it into his mouth that's being immature imo. Oh and the argument of "he shouldn't ask her to swallow" he never did that's why he's surprised by it and if it were me I'd dump her because it's not going to get any better.
tazz602 5
Snowballing, yeah!
PrincessJessi 11
Daaaaaamn that's messed up! I would never spit that back at someone. That's rude.