Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I found out from my ex-stepmother that my dad and lied about having cancer to cover up the fact that he was losing weight from doing drugs again. He lied about it for 5 years. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML
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Top comments
justindrew14 29
well you kind of deserve it for telling him in the first place.
Rad630 13
Smart dad you have there
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Comments (213)
r00nie 10
A whole new level of genius!
notmepleade 8
That happened to me and my dad ended up backing off after about 2 months, just wait it out man. Freedom will one day arrive.
flashback_fml 14
Your name completely mislead me
91hayek 31
Wow that's some commitment and skill. Someone get that man a casting call, his talents are wasted on his pot smoking son.
smurfnipples44 8
You are an idiot
sunnyray812 42
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve it for doing drugs, but I think one year of grounding is a bit much if you weren't exaggerating. I also don't think it was appropriate of your father to trick you into saying it instead of just coming to you about it. It seemed like he just assumed instead of knowing which isn't really right.
pwnman 33
Keeping secrets is well meant to be done.
Door_Productions 19
Good idea telling him that
tg210 6
Well you shouldn't be smoking weed in the first place so you deserve it.
xxdonttouchme 3
he doesnt "deserve it" if theres nothing wrong with it.. its society's fault for being ignorant
thomcmoore 23
I'm not ignorant but I am part of society. I'm also against the smoking of marijuana for recreational use and believe most medical users make up reasons to "treat" their "problems." Don't blame me for your choices.
countrygirl1402 3
Smoking has actually helped many people with medical issues. It's been proven in many studies and I've seen it first hard. But I guess being small minded is good too.
countrygirl1402 3
Hand*
8born8 18
62, is it lonely up there on your high horse?
drewflav 17
62 - My mother is one of those medical users, for pain management. Would you prefer to see her bed-ridden on morphine for 16 hours per day and completely unproductive (with a chance of overdosing) or would you prefer her to use marijuana and manage her pain enough to be productive? I'd choose the latter any day! Don't be an ignorant bastard. As for me, I've tried it recreationally. 3 uses of it and it no longer affects me whatsover except as a sleep aid. Kinda pointless now isn't it?
poostickles 14
#65, people using marijuana for medical purposes use an altered plant low in THC, so they are either getting a minuscule high, or none at all.
thomcmoore 23
For those who use it for legitimate medical reasons, I'm ok with that. Yes, if marijuana helps with pain then it most certainly beats being on a steady flow of narcotics. The problem is anybody can make up a BS reason to get it prescribed and it becomes abused just like any other narcotic/addictive medical substance. And no, it's not lonely on my high horse because most people (including government and employers) agree with me. How is it in the slums?
horneyhic 15
Accually 130 about 60% of Canada and over 50% of Americans have shown support for the legalization of marijuanna
drewflav 17
173 - Many of those people realize that it's pointless jailing someone for smoking a joint that does less harm and causes less fatalities than alcohol. That, and the government would save itself a ton of money by not dealing with it.
horneyhic 15
They can do more then save $ 177 they can make a fortune off taxes that they can collect
Axel5238 29
In most places it's still illegal in most places and until it is that is what's wrong. Op's father doesn't want his kid potentially getting arrested for it or maybe doesn't want his kid doing it. That's up to the father.
drewflav 17
186 - I come from what is probably the most weed-friendly city in the world outside of Amsterdam (Vancouver). A statistic was published awhile back stating that about 70% of the population here had tried it at least once. Very few people I know are outright against it for even recreational use, including my mom. Dad doesn't care but doesn't want to hear about it either. Hell, if you're smoking a joint here most cops won't even bat an eye as long as you're not being rowdy and not doing it in front of children. They're not interested in going after users either, they only go after the big distributors. Our Prime Minister has tried to shut down our medical dispensaries too but the cops have flat out refused to enforce his laws except when there are other major violations in play.
Axel5238 29
That's there. As far as the states go most places will get you arrested for possession even for a small amount even though most think it should be. Whether or not it should be doesn't matter if your area still considers it an offense worth of jail time. If it is similar there the OP's father has a lot to be concerned with. Also, even if it was legal doesn't mean he wants his kid doing it and they are living in the parents house. What he says goes.
Axel5238 29
There is something wrong with it because if it is illegal and the OP is underage that is a problem. If it's illegal, but the OP is 18 or older OP will not be tried as a minor. If it is legal OP is still bound by the rules of the house. Lots of parents smoke and drink but do not want children taking up their habits and teach them better and hope their kids don't get into it.
fmlallthetyme 23
Sounds like your dad needs to chill out and smoke a joint.