Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I found out from my ex-stepmother that my dad and lied about having cancer to cover up the fact that he was losing weight from doing drugs again. He lied about it for 5 years. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML
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Top comments
justindrew14 29
well you kind of deserve it for telling him in the first place.
Rad630 13
Smart dad you have there
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Comments (213)
Extremist 7
that cheeky bastard... you actually bought that?
GeneralStew 7
Sorry OP, You could always convince him that there are a lot worse things then smoking pot good luck buddy remember puff puff pass :P
feven 32
Lesson learned: Don't trust anybody.
MrConcise 35
Unless they take a hit first.
babyanonymousxo 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
my parents both smoke weed. They think it's acceptable to smoke it once you're outta high school. However, I've been smoking it for the majority of my last year, & my grades have never been better
smokecloud_ 37
I started smoking at 16/17. I'd gone from "genius child" in grade school to average C/B student in high school, and back to straight A's after starting to smoke. My depression also lessened a great deal, I stopped cutting and attempting suicide. The people I've met being smokers are some of the most loyal, loving, and caring friends I could ever hope for. I was lucky my dad smoked, and admitting it to him at 17 got me a joint passed in my direction five minutes later. FYL, OP.
feven 32
It blows my mind parents actually do these kinds of things, but its probably cause my parents would react really differently. Like OP I would probably get grounded for the rest of my life if my parents found me smoking weed.
DevilsMetsGiants 30
Don't do drugs
carbivore 10
Do ALL of the drugs.
smokecloud_ 37
Alcohol is a drug, tobacco is a drug, caffeine is a drug, sugar is a drug.. that's an awful lot of things to avoid.
Durantye 8
Sugar isn't a drug like really now.
poostickles 14
Gotta inject me sum sugarz!
SammyS2012 21
sugar... is not a drug... it's a byproduct that your body needs to sustain itself.
ohmandapants 17
Actually, sugar has been found to be highly addictive, and surprisingly enough it could be considered as a "drug".
lh176 7
Hugs not drugs
8born8 18
Hugs are drugs, and your an addict!
8born8 18
Oops. Sorry fml, *you're. it's a Simpsons reference guys, lighten up. yeesh.
arandomusernameaa 20
pugs not drugs :)
showmeyourears 19
67, The exact quote is "Hugs are drugs, and your daughter's an addict!"
GeneralStew 7
I don't understand why people think weed is so bad. I agree it is a waste of money and time but at least it's not as bad as harder drugs.
thomcmoore 23
Yeah, kind of like beer versus liquor. Only the harder stuff causes problems, right?
brand125 17
beer is liqour... wrong comparison
8born8 18
63. marijuana is a plant, an organism that is found in nature. Hard drugs like ice, pcp, speed, xtc, vicodin, oxycontin etc, are all man made. Personally, I would choose to go with something 'natural' compared to chemicals mixed together, either in a lab or laundry trough, by a scientist, or a wannabe hack chemist/cook. You don't see people running around like lunatics after having a cup of tea (leaves, natural) compared to those who drink redbull, mother etc (man made [ok some ingredients are natural] mix of chemical energy).
brand125 17
^ since its the same substance, just mixed/ concentrated differntly, where weed is nothing like crack
8born8 18
71, you're missing my point. Choof is grown from the earth, a plant growing is a natural occurrence. Chems mixed to make hard 'designer' or 'prescription' drugs/meds are not natural and therefore have a harsher toll on the human body. Smoking a plant, to achieve a state of relaxation or pain relief, or even to build the appetite of a person suffering from anorexia, is less taxing on the body and easier for the organs to process.
askullnamedbilly 33
Heroin, morphine, codeine, oxycodone and all other opioids are made from the opium poppy and are highly addictive. The tobacco in cancer sticks is harvested from the tobacco plant. The strongest poison known to mankind is completely natural and is produced by bacteria. Just because it's 'natural' does NOT mean it's good for you, harmless or non-addictive. Marijuana as a drug may not be very dangerous, but your argument is incredibly flawed.
feven 32
Yeah but cigarrates and the other drugs you mentioned have a shit load of chemicals.
mountainmanmike 11
Just have to point out it's only a waste of money if you have to buy it. It's a plant, not some by-product of gasoline and drain-o. Plant a seed outside, give it some love and water, then sit back and watch your green grow.
EdenCrystal 21
Hey, you might be thanking him in ten years.
datguy69s 21
If you're gonna tell a lie you better stick to it
AmorVitae93 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
wow your dumb
Sirin_fml 47
You know that feeling where you're torn between anger and total despair over a comment? Thanks for that.
thomcmoore 23
#31, couldn't have said it better myself. Then again, I doubt anyone can top it.
arandomusernameaa 20
@22 you're* Now who is dumb...