Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I found out from my ex-stepmother that my dad and lied about having cancer to cover up the fact that he was losing weight from doing drugs again. He lied about it for 5 years. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML
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Top comments
justindrew14 29
well you kind of deserve it for telling him in the first place.
Rad630 13
Smart dad you have there
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Comments (213)
boshbish 14
Youre smoking weed when youre young enough to be grounded for it? I can understand your dad. I smoke. When i have kids i wont be but even if you condone something for yourself and others, your kids are different. You want better for them.
meegal 12
YDI for doing drugs. Anyone who does recreational drugs is stupid. That's the most respectable word I can think of for you, trying to follow the FML rules here.
blazingshot147 19
Sir, I hate long groundings, but I think this is a YDI. If you haven't been buying the weed, you wouldn't have got caught.
TheCrispyCat 20
You ******* deserve it. If you DO live in Washington or Colorado and still don't obey the laws you still deserve it you ******* dipshit.
stickingems 9
Both of my parents smoke weed .. Their waiting for the day I start so we can all 'blaze' together .. lmao
Dontalktome 9
in the words of Ari Gold... "Deny till you die"
StanBVB 10
I'll never understand parents like this. My dad said waiting for me to be old enough to toke with him was longest decade of his life.
Omniprism 15
Whoa. I would never trust my father again. Good luck my friend.
bishop2563 8
If your still subject to grounding, your probably too young and have no real reason to be smoking weed. too young. my personal opinion is to start in college. THATS where you will stress out. my grades were phenomenal in college. food for thought. hope you gain perspective.
LegalLoitering 12
Well if you live in Colorado or Washington, and are 21 years old, this wouldn't be a problem.