Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I found out from my ex-stepmother that my dad and lied about having cancer to cover up the fact that he was losing weight from doing drugs again. He lied about it for 5 years. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML
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Top comments
justindrew14 29
well you kind of deserve it for telling him in the first place.
Rad630 13
Smart dad you have there
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Comments (213)
fader48080 10
1.You can't be that grounded if you still have access to write this 2. You dad should write a book.
greencurtains74 11
if you're young enough to be grounded, you are too young to choose to take drugs of any kind....weed, alcohol, otc, anything
limabeans101029 21
Not necessarily. I've known 18 year olds to be grounded, which is the legal age for alcohol in many places.
pensacolalady 10
You so deserve it! Have fun grounded!
sohigh10 34
People are overreacting. Weed isn't that horrible and 'it's illegal' is a terrible argument. I think your father was dishonest and if his parenting consists of lying and manipulation, who's really the worse person?
Axel5238 29
It being illegal is a valid argument, whether or not it should be is another issue. In most places at least in the US you can be arrested for possession(depending on the amount and if you have a bowl/pipe on you) so it be illegal in most places is valid. I doubt the OP father would want him to get stopped for anything and them finding it.
ExiledRemixx 13
What you get for being a stupid idiot thinking getting high is fun and don't pull the oh life or my day sucks crap. I know people that have a bad life or bad days and they don't be stupid. They sleep or listen to music or other crap.
GuiLD15 7
Either your dad's a bomb actor or you're stupid as hell. Well you were smoking weed.
peoplepainter 1
Parenting: Level Genius
Thatguy334 7
Ydi. End of line
KevinGT97 9
Lol he just wants to meet your friend, Mary.
thew_fml 14
you deserve it for narcing out your connection