Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I found out from my ex-stepmother that my dad and lied about having cancer to cover up the fact that he was losing weight from doing drugs again. He lied about it for 5 years. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML
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Top comments
justindrew14 29
well you kind of deserve it for telling him in the first place.
Rad630 13
Smart dad you have there
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Comments (213)
bobbabson 8
U ratarted boy never tell parents
claiiire_fml 17
135- You are a very stupid person. You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. 'One smoke of weed'? Smoking doesn't make you 'depressed after the high'. You are PAINFULLY uninformed and ignorant.
justnotfair145 8
Why would you smoke weed in the first place. Sorry but absolutely no pity.
Nicostream 16
Haha you're really stupid OP to fall for something like this.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You fell for that?
kylec1213 5
Weed is awesome.
darkfireflame 15
No sympathy.
at0micmin3r 23
Way to go, Dad! YDI for smoking weed. Your brain could turn to mush, man. MUSH!
Kurt_Archer 8
Weed is so bad. Yet they have cancer patients on it. Do some research people! Everything in moderation is okay. Too much of anything can have negative effects on you. Before you make a some stupid comment please at least have some sort of background research completed.
CougeeSwagg 19
First rule of weed, never admit u smoke it. Especially not to your parents. Dumbass!