Miscellaneous: Smooth

Smooth

By eayers2689 - 30/05/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 620

You deserved it 59 146

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Same thing different taste

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 596

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 729

You deserved it 3 425

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 2 998

By lalanon - 03/04/2009 05:16 - Australia

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 940

You deserved it 33 450

By DopeDickDover - 26/10/2015 15:50 - United States

Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 372

You deserved it 2 565

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 593

By CantPublish - 04/09/2012 22:02 - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 24 616

Tasty snack ideas

By Stellarum - 18/08/2014 15:13 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 621

You deserved it 4 228

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 7 783

By pickit - 25/02/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 288

You deserved it 20 822

Katers22 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

I would slap you if you licked your finger then touched me. YDI, for way intruding a thing called personal space.

jillz 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:35

Did you actually put your spit on her face? F Her L

Comments

conservatank 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:32

i don't understand your first sentence.

cxal_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:34

Were you trying to ensure that you would never have any chance at all with her or any other girl in the immediate vicinity? because thats the only plausible explanation for acting this way

bosco_kk 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:45

You sort of YDI for putting your alive in your finger to wash some "barbecue" off from someone's face. But I've done worst things, LOL.

meadowlark 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:50

That's just a socially inept move, scab/barbecue sauce aside. I second #54.

emyle11 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:52

this is an FML on both sides. haha. but YDI. don't touch strangers with saliva-covered fingers. that's gross.

_reagan 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:57

who does that? you deserved that one!

Affenhausen 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:03

YES 59TH

A_Wolfe 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:09

#32, What he did was 'gay'? Tell me, why would that be gay? Yes, it's certainly gross, but not gay. Go be ignorant somewhere else, please. Also, no one wants to google your pants.