Today, my brother is getting married to my crush of 7 years.... - FML

By Johannes_712 - 05/07/2019 12:00

Today, my brother is getting married to my crush of 7 years. To make that even worse, they're moving in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 547

Broken heart

Triage

Compromises

By somanybirds - 25/04/2017 08:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 725

You deserved it 309

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 17:32 - United States - San Dimas

Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 104

You deserved it 3 130

By Jman6295 - 08/01/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 15 206

By beno - 07/01/2009 15:25 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 6 050

By Grrrr! - 23/04/2011 14:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 930

You deserved it 10 896

By fml - 03/09/2013 06:31 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 429

You deserved it 12 075

Happiest place on Earth

By creepedoutmom - 17/05/2015 16:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year-old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 532

You deserved it 3 173

By sydcaller618 - 24/11/2015 03:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 874

You deserved it 2 486

By Beth - 28/04/2013 13:16 - United States - Raleigh

Spicy

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 786

You deserved it 11 729

By madisonbubch - 23/09/2014 01:04 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 856

You deserved it 3 060

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - 14/11/2014 00:21 - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 939

You deserved it 2 827

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 490

You deserved it 3 419

By sirensaresexy - 24/07/2012 13:54 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 788

You deserved it 9 039

That sucks

By Anonymous - 29/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 421

You deserved it 928

By Sissyleemae - 16/09/2018 14:30

Today, I got fired from my job for stopping a shoplifter. Where's the logic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 987

You deserved it 317

By Manstobe92 - 16/11/2009 07:32 - United States

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 608

You deserved it 40 088

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 23/01/2013 18:03 - United States

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 236

You deserved it 5 698

By huh - 02/06/2012 20:31 - United Kingdom - Troon

Spicy

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 729

You deserved it 2 606

By MrMagicMan000 - 25/08/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 212

You deserved it 4 389

By Morgannaken - 31/10/2009 17:45 - United States

Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 569

You deserved it 4 006

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 718

You deserved it 3 884

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 03:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 178

You deserved it 54 503

By wtf is wrong with my country - 08/05/2012 17:57 - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 175

You deserved it 3 597

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 07:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 631

You deserved it 4 768

Wuss

By Username - 01/12/2010 19:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 923

You deserved it 5 103

By hesgonnahateme - 06/06/2013 05:08 - United States - Benton

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 589

You deserved it 3 384

Missed opportunities

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, I was going to have a phone interview for an amazing internship opportunity. It was supposed to take place at 11AM. It’s now 1:30PM. My phone calls and concerned email have gone unanswered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 59

People are jerks

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 03:59

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 52

By mike4444 - 12/02/2010 18:11 - France

Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 623

You deserved it 30 409

By fucking teen cunts - 27/01/2013 21:59 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 041

You deserved it 2 508

Sorry dad

By janess - 09/03/2021 11:00

Today, I forgot my father’s birthday. My father means the world to me, I just have a shit memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 24/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 340

You deserved it 3 689

#blessed

By Loney - 22/04/2018 19:00

Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 474

You deserved it 576

By tinaburrito - 26/01/2010 21:33 - France

Today, I found out my bank account was in the negative because my work gave me a check that didn't clear. I went to my bank to get a statement of charges so my job could reimburse me. They told me requesting a statement costs 8 dollars, which I don't have because my account is in the negative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 155

You deserved it 2 632

By alycion - 04/05/2019 12:00

Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 132

By Monkeyless - 02/05/2012 03:59 - United States - Providence

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 263

You deserved it 2 943

By Faxshadow - 07/01/2009 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 589

You deserved it 19 366

Bad encounter

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 05:00

Today, while finishing shopping with my kids, my female best friend and I were accosted by a called street preacher. He screamed that we were an abomination, having biracial children was a sin against nature and we were ruining America. Not only we are not gay and he made my kids cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 316

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 15:52 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 5 661

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Friday 5 July 2019 13:21

Why did you agree to having them move in with you??

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Friday 5 July 2019 14:03

And did you do anything about those feelings in the 7 years you've known them? Because people aren't just going to wait around for a confession from someone they don't even know likes them.

Comments

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Friday 5 July 2019 13:21

Why did you agree to having them move in with you??

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Friday 5 July 2019 14:03

And did you do anything about those feelings in the 7 years you've known them? Because people aren't just going to wait around for a confession from someone they don't even know likes them.

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Saturday 6 July 2019 3:30

A thought occurs: what if OP's brother was dating his fiancé/e before OP met them, and that's when he formed his crush?

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Wednesday 10 July 2019 22:36

Then fuck him even more because that shit is OFF LIMITS. Man up, and move on.

Kaneki Chiaki 14

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Friday 5 July 2019 17:50

I agree, your life sucks.

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Friday 5 July 2019 18:39

it's your fault for letting them move in with you. ydi

Traveling_Book 9

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Friday 5 July 2019 20:08

For your sanity don’t let them move in. I get trying to be nice but it almost sounds like you just want them to stay with you so you can be closer to her.

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Saturday 6 July 2019 5:42

Okay seriously. This ain’t a platform to mope sir. You had all that time to tell them / You didn’t / You didn’t have to let them move in with you / There you go

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Saturday 6 July 2019 5:43

Get over it.

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Saturday 6 July 2019 11:05

Why are you letting them move in with you?

BloodyButUnbowed 25

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Sunday 7 July 2019 21:27

Some people are calling you an idiot, but you're doing the right thing. Two people you care about need a place to live, so you're putting your feelings aside and offering it to them. As to why you never told your crush, that's also because you're a decent person. What kind of jackass would declare love to his brother's girlfriend/fiancee? You're a good man.

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Wednesday 10 July 2019 22:34

Oh Shut up. Apparently your brother had the guts you lacked, If you had asked her out, and/or told her how you felt, and she rejected you, at least you'd have a clear conscience that you tried. Quit pouting, little boys pout, Men like your brother go our and get things done.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 8

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 19

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 104

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 229