Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML
Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML
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Top comments
Emmamazing 26
Well, she's not wrong.
TeasinDaNoobs 16
Whenever theres a girl around, guys tend to dumb down.. Better luck next time OP
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Comments (104)
EarlFug 19
Next time, ask if she can help you find the hot sausage. Cute grocery store employees who are sick of getting hit on love that.
fabcade 14
I would have reported her. no need to talk trash about a guest
leogachi 15
@66 No need to hit on someone while they're trying to do their job. Besides, she was probably already having a bad day. Any job that deals with customers is shitty, and it's not like she yelled at him or something.
TigrexTeeth 16
*Facepalm* FYI
brittanybenton 10
"Trying to be flirty, I asked her where's the cream cheese" if this is how guys flirt I'm really confused
messymessiah 11
She's a little bit of a bitch. As someone who has worked in a supermarket I've had loads of customers ask effete something is when it's right behind, next to or above them.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Well, two things firstly don't hit on workers, secondly if you do please have a backup. "I'm sorry, I never even checked! I was too stunned by your beauty." I mean, cmon don't do it but if you do, do it right.
player20270 32
Could've said: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see it was behind me, your beauty caught my attention and I couldn't see anything else. She would certainly feel flattered and you could've had a chance. Better luck next time and try to think of good and gentle comebacks.
Solano2580 24
You do not know the girl personally, #77, so you can't say what will win her heart.
xcrunner5671 4
YDI what makes you think someone is looking to be hit on while their going about their daily business
enginsteve 17
What other business is there in this world other than daily business?
enginsteve 17
Don't worry about it, she's the idiot if she can't read between the lines and figure out what's going on. although next time, ask for whipped cream. You can do more with that.
leogachi 15
@81 They were in a grocery store. Why should she have assumed that he was hitting on her?
Keiraquarium 12
Plus he was asking about cream cheese... I definitely wouldn't have interpreted that as flirting
96isntassexyas69 20
ah well, maybe think through some new pick up lines next time.