Love, Embarrassing and Shopping: Smooth - FML

Smooth

By godzilllla - 08/08/2015 01:59 - United States - Bothell

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 374

You deserved it 11 800

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 01/02/2016 06:07 - Canada

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 042

You deserved it 1 457

By 918boyz - 04/02/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 827

You deserved it 2 620

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 846

You deserved it 3 592

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 236

You deserved it 7 137

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 06:49 - United States

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 898

You deserved it 1 828

Freak in the streets…

By grocerystalker - 16/11/2012 05:58 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 516

You deserved it 3 422

By Anonymous - 26/03/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 17 390

By rink.attendant.6 - 21/06/2012 15:40 - Canada - Dryden

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 126

You deserved it 3 600

Just joking, dude!

By spacemanspiff78 - 31/10/2011 15:07

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 266

You deserved it 4 219

By sonofmilf - 17/05/2009 05:46 - United States

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 946

You deserved it 6 405

Next

Top comments

Emmamazing 26

Saturday 8 August 2015 19:52

Well, she's not wrong.

TeasinDaNoobs 16

Saturday 8 August 2015 19:52

Whenever theres a girl around, guys tend to dumb down.. Better luck next time OP

Comments

iwadasn 32

Tuesday 11 August 2015 3:34

I'm not sure you know what "flirty" means...

bakannie 12

Thursday 13 August 2015 15:49

I'm willing to bet she didn't say idiot at all, and it was something your brain fabricated because you were embarrassed.

Insanemf18 12

Sunday 16 August 2015 4:21

Should of asked where you could find her number

SkyGuy32 17

Wednesday 19 August 2015 2:34

Yes what a flirtatious opening.

night_roane 11

Friday 15 January 2016 15:40

YDI. no matter how you say it, "Where's the cream cheese" is a horrible pick up line.

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Scams Social Media Money School Kids Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Work Gross Customers

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I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

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I agree, your life sucks 81 718

You deserved it 8 514

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I agree, your life sucks 8 514

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I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 2 399

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I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 440

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I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 251

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 013

You deserved it 2 367