Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML
Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML
Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
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Top comments
malisa916 7
Now there's going to be a lot of dumb criminals trying to rob a deli for the slicer so they can cut off their fingerprints as well.
Mehness 0
RIP Finger.
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Comments (102)
EllieB123 5
Ewwwwww. I was in a deli once when I was young, and the woman cut her whole entire finger off. :/
Lifeisntfair13 0
really? uh that's just gross I think I almost threw up
lemons4eva 0
what's up
Izzati 0
Ya know, this could be an entirely awesome story to tell your grandkids when you're in jail.. hahahhahahahaha
FYLDeep 25
This is why I leave meat cutting to professionals.
starberries 0
OP works in a deli. He IS a professional.
FYLDeep 25
I know. I'm just saying that I don't think I could stand taking a risk like that with my meat.
G00DA 0
that's where the flavor is
nerdsgetmehot 22
That's exactly why meat slicers scare me. So sorry, OP! At least now you'll be able to have a successful career in crime due to your new, fingerprint-less state.
wwerulez14 6
My thoughts exactly... Hey OP, if there's anybody you want dead, now's the time! Just remember not to leave behind any hair!
sourgirl101 28
Isn't it mandatory you wear one of those metal gloves when using the slicer? If it's not, I wouldn't what to eat at your deli. Human flesh in my cold cuts, doesn't sound yummy to me.
tencentsakiss 19
I've never seen any metal gloves with those things. At my work all they have is rubber gloves, and everyone in deli has cut themselves on a meat slicer at least once. I'm honestly sick of getting the body fluid clean up kit out, so I really wish we would get metal gloves. Any deli you go to probably has a meat slicer that has cut a few fingers in it's past, it's way more common than you think. Disgusting, but true :(.
sourgirl101 28
Thanks Tencents! Now my stomach is turning from that thought.(: We have those gloves at my job for slicing onions and such. Anybody not using them for safety reasons will get fired. It's strange many places are not the same.
starberries 0
I've worked at a supermarket and at Arby's in the past. Both places required the chain mail glove. I don't know why they wouldn't be available (and required) anywhere.
hotdogcore 9
A lot of health departments require the kevlar/chainmail glove (at least one) to be provided for employee use around slicers, however, the employees can choose whether or not they use them. Honestly, if one wasn't required to be on hand (har har) I would just buy my own and bring it. They're really convenient, you can even throw them into the dishwasher and hang them up to dry at the end of the day. On another note, the original poster of this FML is 1/10 of the way to becoming MIB eligible.
vizkiz 12
I got 5 or 6 stitches a year and a half ago from slicing my pinky finger on a slicer. Didn't even really hurt til I got to the ER and they started messing with it (pulling it open to check it out and clean it, before the local anesthetic was put in for the stitches). I had worked there 5 months previously (a few years before) and about a month again when I cut myself, then quit 6 months later. We were required to wear metal gloves when using a knife, but not with the slicers.
tencentsakiss 19
Ever single person I know who has used one of those has done that at least once. No joke.
tencentsakiss 19
*every
King_of_Kings 3
Well, lets look at the silver lining here. your documented fingerprints in the system will not match your new fingerprint now. I sliced into my left index finger with a hedge trimmer a couple years back. Now my fingerprint is not the same. So now if you and I were to commit a crime or be accused of committing a crime and they ask for fingerprints, ours won't match the original fingerprints. I say you should rob a bank!!
DaveTheBrave20 0
OHHHMAHHHHGAAADDD
Terezi 0
Hooray for losing your fingerprints! I lost mine when I was a toddler by placing my hands flat against a hot stove. A couple of months ago I had to get my fingerprints taken, and they literally couldn't get them.
starile 19
Woah, really? You have *no* fingerprints?
Terezi 0
There was a couple of really faint marks from my thumbs, but the cop trying to do my prints told me that wasn't enough to identify me. That was all they could get, and even less from my other fingers. So, I essentially have no identifiable prints.