Miscellaneous: Slasher

Slasher

By Anonymous - 09/09/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 933

You deserved it 5 936

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Same thing different taste

By Cody - 07/03/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 063

You deserved it 21 174

Pincushion

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 23:00

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 2 028

By Sadasian - 14/08/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 156

You deserved it 4 100

By ouch - 26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 715

You deserved it 8 979

Jumpy

By TheSentinel05 - 27/10/2020 12:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 215

By horrible daughter - 24/08/2013 10:23 - United States - Santee

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 026

You deserved it 8 428

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 121

You deserved it 3 238

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 244

You deserved it 1 837

By Wounded_irony - 05/12/2017 05:00

Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 907

You deserved it 609

Psycho

By deadgirl - 15/05/2021 01:59

Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 118

summerguy97 16

Monday 9 September 2013 22:04

You tried

Pleonasm 35

Monday 9 September 2013 22:05

I'd make a pun about vases but then I'd get corrected 3 times on the pronounciation of the word vase.

Comments

150493x 29

Monday 9 September 2013 22:10

You're a smashing son/daughter for trying to save her vase

AnOriginalName 19

Monday 9 September 2013 23:20

Is OP one of the Thornberries now?

Kiki242 19

Monday 9 September 2013 22:11

You dont deserve it but did you really think you would catch it?

EmmaMK 35

Monday 9 September 2013 22:15

Well done for trying. Hope you are ok.

MortenM 17

Monday 9 September 2013 22:19

It does seem a bit weird to jump to catch a vase - especially considering the risk. But I guess there's points for trying

LegolasPrincess 10

Monday 9 September 2013 22:23

A for effort, F for execution.

Nomadic1 20

Monday 9 September 2013 22:23

The visual in my head is making me laugh...lol

The_Paladin 16

Monday 9 September 2013 22:37

it was a good try and I hope you heal quickly. I'm sure your mom appreciated the effort.

Dusty_Busters 15

Monday 9 September 2013 22:42

Your heart was in the right place, unfortunately your hands were not.

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 9 September 2013 22:57

Hope the hospital bill didn't break your wallet.

why57why 21

Monday 9 September 2013 23:06

Well at least you tried

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 244

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 118

The Top

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 405

You deserved it 2 596

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 577

You deserved it 2 374

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 477

You deserved it 5 116

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 482

You deserved it 3 637

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 422

You deserved it 22 383

Today, I actually had to attend court for an unfair dismissal claim. The woman I fired had an attendance record of 70%, money is still missing from petty cash, and she was twice caught using a company laptop for online gambling, yet somehow it still made it to a courtroom as “unfair”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 89