Love: Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching...

By baddormgirl - United States

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14307

You deserved it

47632

Favorite

Love

Triage

Clean break

The Blob

By monkers - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25172

You deserved it

1768

Favorite

By privatebathroomneeded - United States - San Francisco

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33766

You deserved it

8017

Favorite

By wetbutt - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17918

You deserved it

68311

Favorite

By LittleFriend

Today, I was told I will receive no Christmas or birthday presents for the next 3 years because my parents paid for my rhinoplasty. I needed it because my 12-year-old brother smashed my nose with a hammer in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5838

You deserved it

279

Favorite

By SuperJesus - United Kingdom

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69272

You deserved it

8034

Favorite

By Schaf_12 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24868

You deserved it

5142

Favorite

By notagain

Grindr danger

Today, while on Grindr, I met a guy who seemed really nice and we hit it off. After chatting for a bit, I received a message from his wife, telling me I'd better leave him alone. This isn't the first time that's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1583

You deserved it

259

Favorite

By bilol - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any European guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

68841

You deserved it

6878

Favorite

By WentInABush - United States - Portland

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36317

You deserved it

3215

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19401

You deserved it

30535

Favorite

By scared-straight - United States

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62612

You deserved it

4374

Favorite

By lacucarcha - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, my boyfriend flamboyantly proposed to me in a packed restaurant. I promptly had a panic attack and fainted in front of at least fifty people and a full mariachi band. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24986

You deserved it

2248

Favorite

By Frustation - United States

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26791

You deserved it

1783

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/1/2021 08:01

Self-own

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

943

You deserved it

Favorite

By pissed_off_girl - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37568

You deserved it

3222

Favorite

By EricCartman - United States

Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48519

You deserved it

6417

Favorite

By "BunnysKitty"

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4937

You deserved it

869

Favorite

By Unteachable - United States

Today, as a high school English teacher, I had to read submissions for a writing contest. The entries were filled with words like "irregardless", "could of", "acrost", and "ain't". These papers were supposedly written by the best students in the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7197

You deserved it

777

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Guelph

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37357

You deserved it

2775

Favorite

By InDeepBlue

Today, I took the bus home from work for the first time in my life. It was pretty crowded, so I immediately sat in an empty seat. Then, I felt something wet. It was puke. A lot of it, in fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1571

You deserved it

397

Favorite

By Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

15644

You deserved it

51909

Favorite

By Zach Got Robbed - United States - Clifton

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52184

You deserved it

5262

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23265

You deserved it

2876

Favorite

By Pain - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12963

You deserved it

72082

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my friend explained to me that the toilet paper in his bathroom is "just for show." Now I know why his hamper smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1708

You deserved it

115

Favorite

She plays tricks on me

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4398

You deserved it

180

Favorite

By whatjusthappened - United States - Loveland

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64063

You deserved it

4608

Favorite

By Discouraged despite my effort

Today, I told my future MIL that we couldn't see her on Christmas because I have to work that day passing out gifts to elderly patients, but that I would call off work to travel to see her any day after. That isn't good enough, so she asked my fiance to spend Christmas without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8145

You deserved it

801

Favorite

By anonymous

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9392

You deserved it

44242

Favorite

By Noctium - 2/9/2020 14:08 - Australia - Bentley

Anxiety

Today, I realised exactly how bad my social anxiety has gotten when I had a panic attack watching someone ask someone else out on a fictional show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1172

You deserved it

256

Favorite

By Eddy - United States - Mountain Pine

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34299

You deserved it

3799

Favorite

By >{%£•¥ - United States

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33935

You deserved it

4125

Favorite

By kill me

Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3814

You deserved it

2320

Favorite

By lilmamma - United States

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17113

You deserved it

50243

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Westfield

Today, my older brother called me ugly, and so I used the classic comeback ''It's not nice to talk about yourself like that." He responded by cutting the strings to my violin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24145

You deserved it

2855

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Winter Park

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25624

You deserved it

1919

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27883

You deserved it

3189

Favorite

By Bonapp - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32492

You deserved it

9764

Favorite

By MICHAELTHEA - United States

Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32504

You deserved it

4330

Favorite

By Loud - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16480

You deserved it

8383

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By zachattack | 0

#3892 - Thursday 19 February 2009 10:14

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

By buffalobuffalo | 0

#3909 - Thursday 19 February 2009 12:46

or the fact that she was replying??

COMMENTS

By zachattack | 0

#3892 - Thursday 19 February 2009 10:14

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

B4SK3TB4IL | 0

#1368118 - Wednesday 8 September 2010 6:06

how is that even bad???

By buffalobuffalo | 0

#3909 - Thursday 19 February 2009 12:46

or the fact that she was replying??

paprika_pilipili_fml | 14

#5416206 - Friday 22 March 2013 22:58

Many people talk to the screen when watching TV/series...
Making comments about what's going on, cursing the characters out...
Maybe that's what got O.P. confused.