Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML
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Top comments
MaltWarrior 32
So, is there a reason no one has cleaned up the glass? Or is it just there to ward off unwanted trash divers?
RichardPencil 32
Good thing she didn’t warn you about the land mines surrounding the trash cans!
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Comments (12)
Lisa McComb 10
oh, for crying out loud-I hope you're alright!
RichardPencil 32
Good thing she didn’t warn you about the land mines surrounding the trash cans!
tonyfan00 38
Next she'll scream the obvious fact that you just cut your foot open...
Manav Shukla 7
How to use this app ?
Dave_Davington 35
Keep trying. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.
Lobby_Bee 18
"thanks mum"
MaltWarrior 32
So, is there a reason no one has cleaned up the glass? Or is it just there to ward off unwanted trash divers?
DanielleinDC 34
Why was there still broken glass there?
sweetbliss3 37
did your foot fall off of your flip flop or how did this happen?
Mynxie 26
So why hasn't anyone cleaned up the glass? At least two people knew about it.
Seymore Collins 7
How small/thin are your flipflops that by stepping on a shard it slices your food? Should it even be called foot-protection at all if that's the case? Be that as it may, I find it hilarious how people react when glass breaks. Like I'm going to be doing barefoot river dance on the stuff or scoop it up using my forearms and keep it in my mouth while I look for a trash receptacle....