Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
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Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
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Top comments
hellnosucka 27
I have the exact same fear. if someone entered the bathroom while I'm peeing, I would literally hold my pee in until they get out. no matter how long they take...
AFCCT 7
Feed your toilet, OP. Feed it.
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Comments (133)
JRFaceless 8
Considering practically every comment is "same here", if any of you went to jail you'd just die
Stoner3110 9
If you are at home, you should turn your music on in the bathroom or turn on the water so that way the noise can mask the sound. If you decide to do the water well you might want to pitch in a little more for the water bill
lauraroxanaa 4
same here, just turn on the water in the sink and let it run while you do your business, no one will hear it
oatgoblin 7
My trick is to flush while going to the bathroom so they can't hear anything and then flush again after.
Wuff 6
My classmates have the same fear as you do. They usually just run the sink, seems to help :-)
CrazyManNo9 29
Can you hear me now?
ninja_darkstar 6
You're a nervous pooer! (Scrubs)
Vlen_fml 20
It's actually quite a common dilemma, don't feel too bad. I need quiet while on the pot, I have to zone out to relax my muscles enough.
CanadianGirl14 10
Why don't you just turn the sink on? Or put the fan on ?
interesting33 36
get some toilet roll and put it in the toilet before you pee/poo as a buffer - just be careful not to block the toilet doing this.