Intimacy: Saucy

Saucy

By username - 31/07/2011 22:19 - United States

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could've dented the chassis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 633

You deserved it 16 595

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Messing around

By unknown - 08/03/2014 00:53 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 080

You deserved it 28 869

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 595

You deserved it 5 067

Weirdo alert!

By CuteFeeties - 07/08/2022 18:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 349

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 554

You deserved it 2 673

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 2 342

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 137

You deserved it 41 000

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 846

You deserved it 3 585

Sexy surprise

By perfectmoment - 10/10/2009 22:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 379

You deserved it 21 355

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 444

You deserved it 13 821

Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 090

You deserved it 46 271

CryMoreFMLs 14

Monday 1 August 2011 0:58

Why men are more worried about cars then girls I don't know. Doesn't make sense to me.

6tori6 5

Monday 1 August 2011 0:59

never mess with a mans car.

Comments

hamncheeseinit 6

Monday 1 August 2011 18:06

I'd be pissed if it was my car!!

chevy1969 0

Monday 1 August 2011 18:21

BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!! =P (.Y.) Who doesn't love tittes?!?!?!?!?!?

Pasty_fml 4

Monday 1 August 2011 20:28

348... gay men?

BeanieBGone 6

Monday 1 August 2011 18:25

How would you dent the chassis by sitting on the hood?

weesmithy 0

Monday 1 August 2011 18:35

I would've kicked a huge dent in it. Dump him.

stormracer101 5

Monday 1 August 2011 18:39

you weren't even touching the "chassis". sounds like you have an inconsiderate moron for a boyfriend.

wasdgame 0

Monday 1 August 2011 18:43

Be my girlfriend ;D

alabamajoe77 3

Monday 1 August 2011 18:53

Well he's a dum ass because the hood is not part of the chasis. He should have been grateful at the thought.

lvlcapblue 0

Monday 1 August 2011 18:56

apparently he doesn't know what a chasis actually is...

chipsy2011 4

Monday 1 August 2011 18:57

dude thats sad if he was more worried about his car than you that sucks.

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 1 August 2011 19:04

You'd have to be made of solid uranium to dent a chassis. He doesn't even know that that is.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 430

You deserved it 5 037

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I agree, your life sucks 39 467

You deserved it 3 498

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 841

You deserved it 8 899

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 3 565

Today, while I was working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 918

You deserved it 3 971

Today, it’s 3 a.m. and my cat is shredding the padded door of her box, wanting to get out. I would be sympathetic if not for the fact that she has a perfectly good cat flap on the other side of that box, so she can go outside whenever she wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 147