Today, for the first day in our bakery, our intern brought croissants...

By croissant - 24/8/2015 03:42 - France

Today, for the first day in our bakery, our intern brought croissants and rolls from our biggest competitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

701

You deserved it

Favorite

Work

Season finale

Does it taste good?

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By Anonymous - 9/2/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22536

You deserved it

44803

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/4/2011 03:05 - United States

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35409

You deserved it

10419

Favorite

By lonelygal69 - 19/8/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29917

You deserved it

3738

Favorite

By brokewithnocar - 21/1/2017 20:00

Today, my mom changed her mind about driving me to a job interview because she wants to attend a meeting at a church she told me she'd never go back to, full of people she hates. I can't drive because she refuses to teach me how. There's no public transportation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6778

You deserved it

681

Favorite

By Loser - 12/5/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30094

You deserved it

151343

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/1/2013 00:28 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31450

You deserved it

3023

Favorite

By ugly - 26/6/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41869

You deserved it

4429

Favorite

By Greg - 28/9/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42662

You deserved it

21951

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/11/2018 03:00

Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3668

You deserved it

446

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/5/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27367

You deserved it

3361

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Unforgettable

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1760

You deserved it

104

Favorite

By whatrights - 12/7/2009 08:59 - United States

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51320

You deserved it

23704

Favorite

By ...loud noises...urgh... - 2/11/2011 16:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14169

You deserved it

51102

Favorite

By Joe - 3/4/2011 07:33 - Australia

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35499

You deserved it

3182

Favorite

By Mishlette - 23/1/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31758

You deserved it

2735

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

38049

You deserved it

4878

Favorite

By ninaaaa - 24/2/2014 00:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36686

You deserved it

3997

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/6/2013 21:58 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56545

You deserved it

5134

Favorite

By I tried - 9/4/2020 17:00

Lockdown is driving us down

Today, my husband went on a tirade, accusing me of bullying and being too hard on our kids. Apparently, I’m taking this homeschool thing too serious, and I need to cut them a break. All I did was make them write their letters and numbers on paper instead of just using their tablets. Yeah, real mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1837

You deserved it

151

Favorite

By ChevRooon - 27/1/2012 04:46 - United States

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15091

You deserved it

38895

Favorite

By dollabill009 - 6/6/2013 08:49 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50156

You deserved it

8511

Favorite

By thehumanshield - 5/8/2011 08:41 - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55004

You deserved it

2782

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/8/2018 20:30

Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2680

You deserved it

409

Favorite

By whiteboyfresh69 - 22/1/2020 20:00 - United States

She likes it!

Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

650

You deserved it

3354

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/10/2011 04:23 - United States

Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32896

You deserved it

2918

Favorite

By nosexforthee - 23/1/2015 19:25 - United States - Katy

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43477

You deserved it

7919

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/1/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40198

You deserved it

2457

Favorite

By IntimidatorStag - 6/2/2009 23:54 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26255

You deserved it

30436

Favorite

By NUsConstantine - 19/10/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

I agree, your life sucks

45662

You deserved it

2647

Favorite

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40685

You deserved it

4653

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/2/2012 12:36 - Australia

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25178

You deserved it

3254

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36104

You deserved it

4844

Favorite

By Just wanted a cigarette - 31/7/2015 02:06 - United States - Lagrangeville

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25995

You deserved it

4739

Favorite

By michael - 17/7/2019 12:07

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out the second story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

468

You deserved it

2694

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/7/2014 09:05 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47586

You deserved it

8861

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/5/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58505

You deserved it

7520

Favorite

By Son - 3/9/2018 17:30 - United States

Today, after an hour-long conversation with my mom that was supposed to help fix our relationship, she said she prefers Beatrice over me and that she's moving in with her. Beatrice is not my sister, she's my older cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2526

You deserved it

179

Favorite

By skinny dipper - 21/10/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45836

You deserved it

12657

Favorite

By Derp McShitstain - 16/9/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28595

You deserved it

2748

Favorite

By no spank - 11/8/2020 20:01

The Breeders

Today, my family once again mocked and insulted me for being the only one to not spank my kids. Apparently, they’ll grow up entitled and in prison if I don’t. Odd, seeing as my kids are 10 times better behaved than their kids, who get spanked on a regular. Ah well, here’s to hitting kids I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks

830

You deserved it

157

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Wizardo | 33

#6623498 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 12:34

Croissant the line.

By catanita | 18

#6623520 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 13:02

Good thinking. Maybe he want to make a comparison between the 2 producers and see if your product needs improvement or you are above the competition.

COMMENTS

By maharb01 | 17

#6623497 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 12:33

think of it as knowing the gauntlet that's in front of you

By Wizardo | 33

#6623498 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 12:34

Croissant the line.

By bonermonkey | 31

#6623510 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 12:53

if they are an unpaid intern then leave them alone :P

By catanita | 18

#6623520 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 13:02

Good thinking. Maybe he want to make a comparison between the 2 producers and see if your product needs improvement or you are above the competition.

By johnbooger | 19

#6623540 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 13:45

why should you even care, just because they work where you are doesnt mean they have to spend their money there.

By biasedshooter | 24

#6623544 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 14:05

An intern at a bakery?

By wow2mylife | 25

#6623572 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 14:48

why did I think for the store or is it

By ainsworth_fml | 1

#6623574 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 14:49

Does intern = unpaid in France?

By bad_boyfriend | 10

#6623578 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 14:55

I find it hard to believe it is your "biggest competitor" there is a fucking bakery every 30 feet in France

By Estelle101_fml | 13

#6623885 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 22:49

Do interns get fired?