Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my phone decided to delete all my numbers. I posted on Facebook that people should message or text me if they felt like I should have their number. I didn't get a single reply. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me on Facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from Facebook for iPhone." FML
Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML
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Top comments
keven305 0
you have a nice mom
CateXOX 0
I hate people who post that they need people's numbers. You really shouldn't give your number out online, you know there's a site that is dedicated to displaying every phone number ever posted on facebook.
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Comments (170)
Tenaed 7
BEST FML I HAVE EVER SEEN !
ipwnlosers 4
Stop screaming!
Wheredidgrungego 12
Your mom is one of the biggest asshats I've ever heard of. I'll be your friend OP!
cgchamp89 7
asshats??
ijnek 3
Its a word people use in online games. Like for example: Is someone being an asshat? Voteban them.
chosha_fml 27
People like your mother shouldn't refer to themselves as 'family'. She clearly doesn't know the meaning of the word. If I was you, I would defriend her and anyone who 'liked' the comment.
MRobvious750 0
#30- bad advice because I think at that point OP would probably have no friends even on Facebook, no mommy either.
gorina 0
Wow, overreacting much? Mom was just messing around most likely. Why people take everything online so seriously is beyond me.
Egnar 19
So you're one of those people on facebook - One of those people who moderates all their comments to stupid status updates so they seem cool, even when the things pointed out to them make sense? One of the people who flips out anytime a friend has a depreciating sense of humor and is trying to poke fun at you slightly because you either deserve it or WALKED RIGHT INTO a joke they thought you might appreciate? OP's mom may be a huge bitch, OR, what is more likely based on the fact that OP has at least 32 friends [32 people liked the status, which frankly is hard to get if you only add actual friends to fb, especially if you only have 32 friends] so what is more likely is that mommy has a sense of humor.
danielleeycakes 3
seriously.. it's just facebook.
MRobvious750 0
Your mom sounds like a bad ass, and OP you need to get out and be more social. Ya know not the kind sitting on computer in a room by yourself?
ledstratdak 0
I don't know what the problem is your mom was clearly joking. also OP is probably leaving out the fact that people commented with their numbers.
TabzTheLoserKidd 4
your mom sounds amazing!
airforce987 20
should've deleted her comment...
Jamialia 5
You have the power to delete the comment yet you left it on there...
metalhead5564 0
what a cow... way to ensure that your child has no friends
Wazilla 0
Yeah she aure has no friends now....It's not like the Op could go purside and talk to people instead of relying on a website to make friends for the Op. The Op certantly is never gonna be able to have friends, they all have a sense of humor, DEFRIENDED!
cgchamp89 7
that means you must have at least 32 "friends", right...? lol fyl