Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
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Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
Wait, why would you buy your boyfriend a lock-picking set? Was it part of one of those corny things where you're all like "now you hold the key to everywhere... including my heart..." Or does he just enjoy breaking into houses? So many unanswered questions!
INSEKTORADA 10
Plot twist he is in prison.
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Comments (77)
Craven1987 10
Seems obvious right? That something used for breaking into people's homes is illegal.
Crazyjohnb 23
Actually no. its legal in a lot of states including Tennessee.
CheekyRaccoon 27
It could be used recreationally as a hobby and nothing more, seems obvious right?
Lalala579121 28
You can use just about anything to break into a house. That's a lot of illegal stuff.
Craven1987 10
The sole purpose of a lock picking set is to pick locks. Which is usually reserved for people trying to get into places they shouldn't. So I really don't understand the amazement at the fact it's illegal.
lylotrezor 20
Actually, most of the time burglars just break the lock because picking it takes too long.
militarybrat 21
Hm i wonder why screwdrivers arent illegal. After all, the guy who broke unti my parents home used one. I mean honestly cmon.
militarybrat 21
No one who breaks into a house is going to take the time to pick it. They need to be quick. Why waste time?
kirkaygri 18
Guess we need to make bricks illegal. That's what they used to get into my house last week. Slim Jims for cars are illegal in my state. But I still have one in my trunk. Locksmiths are expensive and it only takes a few seconds to Jimmy a lock when my moron family members lock their keys in their cars, which happens at least once a week. (yeah, five sisters. It happens often.) Local cops know I have it, they've seen me use it. Thank God for small towns.
Liza_Thatch 18
unless you buy a pack of cards as well. then you're an escape artist and its a job or an aspiration
LiGhTMaGiCk 18
Well it is considered illegal in Ohio but really it's only "Prima Facie" or in other words if you're caught with them you are presumed guilty until you prove you are innocent.
Rosebudx 32
I have friends who went to some expo in California and learned to pick locks for fun. They aren't doing it for nefarious purposes or anything, I think one of them wanted to learn because of...Assassin's Creed or another game. Could be a situation like that.
Mauskau 36
It's fun to do in games, I'd like to try it irl.
PencilTips 19
Having that skill might come in handy! Not in the sense that he would illegaly break into someone's property, but if he loses a key for something. Also, it is actually pretty cool, I would bet.
kmw003 17
I've never needed a follow up so badly in my life.
Chadica 17
If they're illegal, how did you get one? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm honestly really confused
Geckosrock99 33
Could have bought it online and the seller just shipped it without telling her its illegal in her state.
btbtbtbt 1
They are illegal to carry, but not illegal to own.
PickleOfLife 4
How did you ever get the idea that lock-picks would be the perfect present? - Particularly since it seems that your BF didn't suggest it?