Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
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Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
Wait, why would you buy your boyfriend a lock-picking set? Was it part of one of those corny things where you're all like "now you hold the key to everywhere... including my heart..." Or does he just enjoy breaking into houses? So many unanswered questions!
INSEKTORADA 10
Plot twist he is in prison.
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Comments (77)
themostunlucky_fml 14
I kinda want a lock picking set it's more of a hobby
mrmittens69 16
Where do you buy lock picking sets
bigdonnie624 15
Good thing you found out before me
blackonblight 33
I'd kind of like to learn lock picking, to help my coordination/dexterity, and possibly to help with my anxiety. Wonder what the laws are in New Hampshire...
ThisGuy315 7
stupid that they are illegal I mean just cause they can be used for breaking and entering, a crowbar or hammer can be used for the same purpose, not to mention if you got, saw blades, electric grinder, and pictures of different lock picks you can make your own...
ImmediateRegret 5
yeah because a lock pick can hammer in nails and be used to build etc etc.. with your logic illegal guns are stupid becauce knives, rope, cars, baseball bats can also kill people
username13344 6
I live In Ohio and I'm pretty sure there completely legal. as long as you don't break into someone's house.
Ava_Darkflame 26
Why the hell does he need that?
Jbrady43 13
Probably likes Assassins Creed or Skyrim... Most likely a video game.
johnceeeenaaaaa 5
But....why???
kevingirl 6
I can't even imagine why you think that would be a good present. That makes no sense st all.