Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
Wait, why would you buy your boyfriend a lock-picking set? Was it part of one of those corny things where you're all like "now you hold the key to everywhere... including my heart..." Or does he just enjoy breaking into houses? So many unanswered questions!
INSEKTORADA 10
Plot twist he is in prison.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
Joshawott 21
The real question is - why did you think a lock-picking set was a perfect gift?
heavenlyassbutt 11
Why just why would you give this type of gift.
derpyshy 16
The fuel station at my work has a lock picking set, as way too many people lock their keys in their cars. So I can see the practicality. However, as a gift...
CoupeDeAce 6
Lockpicking is a profession.
MasterofPuppys 7
Who told you they were illegal? I'm a cop in Ohio and they are not illegal.
kirasant 19
If he plays a lot of games as a stealth character, I could see it being a great a gift. I once came very close to getting into my house after locking myself out using skills from a game. Sadly I had crappy wire to work with. So yeah, I'd love a set.
vikky538 29
If you are trying to unlock your romance I am pretty sure thats not how you guys should plan to unlock it.
theflash2005 7
Where did you even get a lock-picking set?
Caitthegreatest 4
Amazon
imbedderdenu 23
Um wtf kind of gift is a lock picking set??
MzZombicidal 36
Apparently a perfect one for OP's boyfriend. Who are you to judge?
MetallicSkeleton 12
Actually they're legal anywhere in the United States. But you're obviously not allowed to break into houses.