Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
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Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
Wait, why would you buy your boyfriend a lock-picking set? Was it part of one of those corny things where you're all like "now you hold the key to everywhere... including my heart..." Or does he just enjoy breaking into houses? So many unanswered questions!
INSEKTORADA 10
Plot twist he is in prison.
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Comments (77)
tigerisabelle 31
Wait, why would you buy your boyfriend a lock-picking set? Was it part of one of those corny things where you're all like "now you hold the key to everywhere... including my heart..." Or does he just enjoy breaking into houses? So many unanswered questions!
darkbob101 16
I know personally, after playing a lot of stealth-based video games, I would love to try lock picking in real life. It is also a decently popular hobby.
LeashaJoy5595 28
I was thinking the exact same thing #57 games like Fallout and Skyrim make it feel like a necessary skill after awhile.
rgriff27 19
A lot of things are illegal...just don't get caught with them.
fxreveryoung 19
Definitely curious and in need of a follow-up, OP. How is a lock pick set the perfect gift for your boyfriend?
INSEKTORADA 10
Plot twist he is in prison.
dantee2005 33
Maybe he's locksmith. Or wanna be locksmith.
staychill 16
How did you find out they were illegal?
yerawizardlizzy 27
I was wondering that too. Was there a policeman in the room who confiscated it?
invadermaythe1st 35
He probably opened the presents and said, "umm.... You do know these are illegal in Ohio?"
RedPillSucks 33
boyfriend's a cop
INSEKTORADA 10
lockpicking is also a very cool hobby like there are contests for that.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Is he studying to be a locksmith?
mds9986 24
So was this posted two days after Christmas because you were in jail?
zeffra13 31
It has to be moderated before its posted. That can take a few days.
fonkimonki 7
Did he buy you a chastity belt?
Bluedy 17
I guess you should have PICKED a better gift! :D *ba-dum-tsss*
beeferjay 34
it's only illegal if you get caught...
MonstreBelle 29
The motto of felons everywhere
the_real_dvd 21
Pretty sure Jarred Fogle said the same thing.