Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
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Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
Wait, why would you buy your boyfriend a lock-picking set? Was it part of one of those corny things where you're all like "now you hold the key to everywhere... including my heart..." Or does he just enjoy breaking into houses? So many unanswered questions!
INSEKTORADA 10
Plot twist he is in prison.
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Comments (77)
ValleyHockey12 14
Seriously...
Titan_Slayer 21
I live in Ohio and I was not aware of this O.o
mmaflake 19
Lock picking is a really fun hobby. I think because it's very challenging. Not like you see on movies and tv. There is a real satisfaction to defeating a like not unlike finishing a big puzzle.
Peppersworth 6
They're not illegal in Ohio, but if the police have a reason to search you and find one on you it's prima facie.
NYGiants1925 22
Why is that the perfect gift for him?
Radgears47 23
Lock picking sets are illegal in many places. I had to cancel my own order for one because of that
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Uhmmmm I'm curious as to why them being illegal has anything to do with them being the perfect gift? There are so many laws all across the country that aren't followed/ridiculous/have limitations, like it's illegal to carry a butterfly knife but not to own one. So, A how does an illegal item create a problem when not a single cop should know that ya have it? B, what's the issue? Best gift ever oops it's illegal, uhm? So?
howbout_thisone 13
Ummm???
messymessiah 11
Are you a crime-duo?
shotgun_girl 17
Because thiefs are going to follow the law am I right?